Okay...I think it's time for this one. It's quite a bit more light hearted than my last journal. Forgive me if you've seen this before, but I still think it's funny (and on time).
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New spelling system
The California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the state, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or, perhaps even better, "Austrionics".)
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi
tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
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New spelling system
The California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the state, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or, perhaps even better, "Austrionics".)
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi
tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
the last paragragh was difficult for me to get through. loved it though...funny.
I still can't wrestle my way out of a wet paper bag. Heh, heh. I trained grappling briefly with a guy named Jake Shields at the Fairtex gym-- at the time he was the Japaneese middleweight Shooto champion -- and I learned two things:
1) Wrestling is fucking stupid hard.
2) When Jake Shields chokes you, you'll have a throat-ache for a week.
Re: your recent setbacks-- I bet you know the drill -- keep your head up! Integrity, perserverance and honor; don't be afraid to ask for and recieve divine assistance, whatever that means to you. Don't forget that life is long, and we never really know what the end result of our current circumstance may be. Negatives can grow positives, and your life is already proof of that fact.
[Edited on Nov 11, 2005 9:10AM]