Locked Away Inside

9

I initially came back here, after a long hiatus, to vent off my thoughts into the void, simply as a means of getting them out of my head to somewhere, given I had nobody to talk to about them... but have since become active on the site once again. It's been nice, occasionally having people to talk to, to share my thoughts and opinions with without worry or repercussion (because I don't know anyone here in real life, and probably never will). And of course, there's always the boobs and booty. I can never get enough of those 😉

Times like now though... I have thoughts and feelings I really want to get out, but even this place isn't the right place to do so I feel. To be truthful, I can really only share these thoughts with one person, but until they ask for them, I don't feel it's my place to speak them, to bring them up unbidden. Strong desires, powerful passions, and conflicted feelings of whether or not I should allow myself these at all churn chaotically within my head.

So for now then, I stew in my thoughts and feelings, keeping them contained with no place to go, until the longing to get them out passes, and I can move on again. At least writing about them, if not actually sharing them, has given me some minor catharsis.

I'm probably going to delete this later. I usually delete these kinds of things after awhile.

liasworld:
Writing down helps a lot most times. At least for me. But I also have the feeling every now and then the paper is not enough. Don't bottle up. This does no good usually. I use my therapist most times. She is my emotional trash can..... What about the "Support Group" here. Maybe sharing your thoughts and feeling there is an option? https://www.suicidegirls.com/groups/support-group/
chadiousxvi:
@liasworld Perhaps I could share some thoughts with the support group, but in the end, there are some things I am still uncomfortable sharing, at least with strangers. Like you though, I've found that writing my thoughts down certainly does help, as it actualizes them in a way, makes them physical, makes them "real" so to speak, and I might need to do more of that as time goes on. Perhaps also I should see a therapist. I haven't seen one since I was a child, and though I like to think I've overcome my darkest troubles over long, hard fought years, any little bit of extra help might be nice, if not for my current thoughts, but just in general.

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