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chadiousxvi

A wanna-be New York City

Member Since 2012

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Wednesday May 09, 2012

May 9, 2012
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So I realize my brain is quite a fickle and strange thing. After seeing people recently who I despise, former friends I want nothing more to do with, I find they have crept into recent dreams. However, rather than feel anger towards them in my dreams like I do in my waking hours, I am treated to dreams where we meet, we talk, and both them and I reconsile to warm hugs and bittersweet tears.

I don't know why this disturbs me so. My conscious mind and my subconscious obviously aren't on the same page. These are people I resent so bitterly, yet on the odd occasion they find their way into my dreams, all I want is to reconsile with them and once more become friends.

I don't know what to think anymore, and am so confused.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
vivianevog:
Maybe it's telling you that you should maybe forgive them even if you wouldn't reconcile with them in real life,you should forgive them in your mind at least...hmmm...
May 10, 2012
chadiousxvi:
Thank you all for your thoughts on the matter, and Xynnedra, thank you for the hugs!! (Hugs back) smile

Maybe I have these dreams because at heart, I'm a lover, not a fighter. I had many years of friendship with both these people (both girls I might add), one of which I really cared for alot, and thought cared about me. We all had some great times together, and maybe part of me just wants that all back.

I agree with Gamerchick28 though, some bridges are better left burned to ash and cinders. I am certainly far too prideful to ever go back to either of them and speak to them first, especially as none of them have ever said they were sorry to me.

The funny thing about dreams I've noticed, at least mine, is emotions seem pure. No matter how outlandish my dreams are, my mind is usually duped into believing everything that is going on is real, so my emotions tend to accurately reflect my actions. If I accidentally hurt somebody, have an affair with a good friend's girl, or something bad happens, I wake up feeling horrible. Likewise, when something great happens, like when I find a girl who cares about me, I defeat an enemy, or do something awesome, I wake up feeling great. This is why I get confused though, as all my emotional reactions in dream are accurate with my waking ones, except in this case.

Oh well, it hardly matters anymore. Dreams fade, and life is too short to have shitty people in your life, so best not to dwell I guess.
May 12, 2012

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