My confidence levels are pretty low lately. Particularly with my creative side. Im 3 days away from finishing my second year at uni. I feel like I've completely lost myself as an artist. Everyone else in my course seems to be moving forward, discovering their style or improving. I feel stuck in a state of mediocrity. I'm neither here nor there. I don't have a style. I don't have a direction. I thought I'd discover what kind of illustrator I'd want to be through this course. But it's had the opposite effect.
It's effecting my cosplay making too.
I have been trying to finish this Thor cosplay for MCM London Comic Con next week. I was really happy with how it was coming along when I took these photos. But now, the more I look at it. The more I allow myself to think about it. The more I think "it's not good enough, it'll never be good enough, so why bother?". I want to rip it apart and throw it in the bin, or burn it. Whatever.
I can normally shake this off with a good night's sleep. Not completely but I was taught how to not let negative thoughts consume me through therapy and counselling. But I'm having one of those times where I'm really struggling to ignore it. 😔 I've let the thought of worthlessness embed itself.
