FUCK YOU and fuck you...i'm fucking getting sick of certain people.....realizing nasty little secrets....
i've been pretty much just a deer in headlights...who just sits and sticks up for her friends
but i'm a bitch for that, i bet....i mean...that's what i'm reading from a lot of people.
being told to just mind my own.
sit on my hands and let it pass...
im not trying to spend my days fingering my asshole...
i want to get my point across to as many people as possible
...
that big mouth of mine just keeps fucking things up though.
i can't just let things sit or just go in one ear and out the other.
i always have to have my say.
and that is where i lose.
my boyfriend won't talk to me.
my family in general won't talk to me.
i have a handful of friends that will talk to me.
I feel like a disappointment to myself.
I've fucked up everything I had when I was in NJ because I had to move
I had to escape
Now, I can't do anything correctly. I'm a freak cause my tattoos and piercings
and, yes, kids, i have a fucking eating disorder that i breaking me apart from the inside out.
and no one to fucking just come give me a hug at the end of the day and whisper in my ear that they love me and they care.
the only people that try and comfort me are on the internet...my only true friends.
thats where i lose.
unlike most people who are on this site, they have live outside of the site.
i don't. i have very few friends...all of which are younger and adore me and look up to me.
i can't tell them that i stick my finger down my throat to lose weight. i can't tell them that i just want to cry half of the day. i can't tell them my past. i can't tell them their future.
and
i feel like more of a loser for that.
i just want to conclude that...
i always want to make other people happy...because i want someone to be here with me that can make me happy. it's a dream. since i can remember, i've always made the same wish....since i was a little girl and I'd look for the first star or I'd catch fireflies.....blow the dandelion fuzz things...whatever i could wish on....i only ever wished to be happy.
I guess that is what happens when your life sucks from day 1.
i've been pretty much just a deer in headlights...who just sits and sticks up for her friends
but i'm a bitch for that, i bet....i mean...that's what i'm reading from a lot of people.
being told to just mind my own.
sit on my hands and let it pass...
im not trying to spend my days fingering my asshole...
i want to get my point across to as many people as possible
...
that big mouth of mine just keeps fucking things up though.
i can't just let things sit or just go in one ear and out the other.
i always have to have my say.
and that is where i lose.
my boyfriend won't talk to me.
my family in general won't talk to me.
i have a handful of friends that will talk to me.
I feel like a disappointment to myself.
I've fucked up everything I had when I was in NJ because I had to move
I had to escape
Now, I can't do anything correctly. I'm a freak cause my tattoos and piercings
and, yes, kids, i have a fucking eating disorder that i breaking me apart from the inside out.
and no one to fucking just come give me a hug at the end of the day and whisper in my ear that they love me and they care.
the only people that try and comfort me are on the internet...my only true friends.
thats where i lose.
unlike most people who are on this site, they have live outside of the site.
i don't. i have very few friends...all of which are younger and adore me and look up to me.
i can't tell them that i stick my finger down my throat to lose weight. i can't tell them that i just want to cry half of the day. i can't tell them my past. i can't tell them their future.
and
i feel like more of a loser for that.
i just want to conclude that...
i always want to make other people happy...because i want someone to be here with me that can make me happy. it's a dream. since i can remember, i've always made the same wish....since i was a little girl and I'd look for the first star or I'd catch fireflies.....blow the dandelion fuzz things...whatever i could wish on....i only ever wished to be happy.
I guess that is what happens when your life sucks from day 1.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
skullgrid:
all i can say is, there are more of us in the no-real-IRL-friends-beyond-the-internet boat than you might think. remember that island idea we were talking about? maybe we should revisit that...
deletemeplz:
*hugs*