ceremony

for most of tonight i was better as far as the achiness in my body was concerned, at least until i got back to my room. natalia made me lots of tea and i got a decent amount of reading done while studying with her and, later, kate.

however.

i think i've made a mistake.

i am really overexcited by intellectual concepts and i need to stop prattling on about them to people. (guess what, jillian? no one thinks about how words not only create but destroy logic, or how the reader and the text are interchangeable, or about language negation. stop trying to get people interested in it. even your best friends couldn't give a shit, they've got real things to be happy about. all you have is fucking deconstruction/postmodernist theory.)

why does my whole body hurt again? dammit!

i miss dancing with tyler and watching "the graduate" with pj and being with jaysin and madisen and sean and kai and DFK. i'm glad that the tampa kids are coming in this weekend for the electronic concert and for b-dorm soiree. they're crazy as hell but without them my weekends lack a compass.

welcome back, self-loathing!

& why am i updating so much? i should take advil and go to bed and prepare myself for the misery that will probably be tomorrow. i hope someone or something - anything - makes it not suck.