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ceremony

new york city/coral springs

Member Since 2006

Followers 25 Following 13

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Tuesday May 02, 2006

May 2, 2006
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for fuck's sake, i really shouldn't reward myself on a tuesday night with a bottle of crappy arbor mist wine (which tastes like juice) and "the big lebowski." and "the big lebowski" drinking game. i had a lot of fun with kate but once i began to wander on my own my mind also began to wander into places that i shouldn't go, especially in an inebriated state of mind.

i want to feel like someone loves me for once. it's been a long time and i've almost forgotten what it's like to have that one person who really cares. and i love my friends but it's not enough.

and goddammit affection would be nice too. i'm the goddamned co-president of the coalition of consensual cuddling around these parts, the least i can do is get a hug.

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'mquitesorry

i'm just falling apart a little bit and in typical fashion i can't fucking deal.

i'm also still a little drunk. it's bedtime before i do something that i shouldn't and i've got shit that needs getting done tomorrow morning pre-russian.
alexstar6:
"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest--a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
-Albert Einstein

Perhaps it's not the best quote for this situation. However, if nothing else it shows that even people we think of as almost "inhuman" had problems in their lives.

One that helps me alot whenever I'm feeling that way is this...

"The best cure for worry, depression, melancholy, brooding, is to go deliberately forth and try to lift with one's sympathy the gloom of somebody else."
- Arnold Bennett

I don't know if anything I write will help keep you from falling apart too badly... but I hope that you don't feel so alone.
May 2, 2006

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