celtic_cyclops

Jane McGrath died on the weekend. I used to be very jealous on a very subconscious level - simply because she was still alive and Cheryl was dead. Jane McGrath was diagnosed much earlier and seemed to have gotten better yet Cheryl never got into the clear. Deep down, I thought it was only fair that the person who got diagnosed first should go first and therefore the second person whould be around longer. But it doesn't work like that. And now Glen McGrath and I are effectively even.

Which brings me to my second point, namely suicide. My secretary's father in law tried to commit suicide last night so she took the day off work to be with the family. I don't mind her taking the time but I find suicide incredibly selfish. I know it is often driven by despair and irrational thoughts. But to throw away time to live is criminal.

I read an interview Jane McGrath which is almost identical to a journal which Cheryl was keeping for Emily - these women diagnosed with terminal breast cancer are desperate for time. Time to be with their family, to watch their children grow, to enjoy life. They often take on more work/tasks/projects despite the effects of the chemo because they are trying to cram as much life as they can in with the unknown but clearly limited time they have left. We call them brave but really they are just desperate to live and they would do just about anything to get the days/months/ years which a suicide throws away.

On happier thoughts, I still have not organise my ink yet, I was thinking Westside Tattoos but I am open to any recommendations. In order of diminishing likelihood of getting, I am planning the following:

1. The 3 Chinese characters of Cheryl's name on my inner left forearm;
2. The Labarum which is the Chi Rho symbol surrounded by the words "In hoc signo vinces", on my inner right forearm;
3. A Celtic Crucifix on my right shoulder blade with the word Te at the crossbeam and the words Laudamus, Benedicimus, Adoramus and Glorificamus on the arms. This is from the greater doxology. If it were possible, I would love to work the text "Gloria in excelsis Deo et in terra hominibus bonae voluntatis" in there also.
4. From Raphael's School of Athens, the portrait of Aristotle on the left bicep and Socrates on the right bicep, although this is probably unrealistic as it would need too much detail to make the potraits look realistic and not cartoony.