cellophane

i had a dream that forest whitaker broke into my house and i had to shoot him with that gun from the mexican.

and i haven't even seen panic room or the mexican...

maybe it's because of battlefield earth... yeah, that's definetly it.

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writing/recording music has felt... uncomfortable lately. i'm not really sure why, either. if i think too much, i fuck it up. if i don't think enough, i fuck it up. it's sort of as if i get a vision of some place i want to be, and i know the direction, but somewhere along the way i lose sight of where i was headed and end up somewhere pretty cool, but it's not where i wanted to be, and so the void i was trying to fill is still empty. on the other hand, maybe i should trust the directions i end up steering myself in.

but it's just part of something that's generally left me uncomfortable lately.

i'm too distracted by music to get as far as i want to as a programmer/developer/designer, and i'm too distracted by programming/developing/designing to get as far as i want to as a musician.

i'm going to get where i want to eventually. it's just that i don't enjoy tough desicions, and i can sense some coming my way fairly soon.

well, i think i might have just written more in this one entry than i have in the last two/three weeks or so combined.

maybe what i really need is a girl. one i enjoy knowing...

...i could use the inspiration. that and it'd be nice to change my user profile. heh...