Finaly, after 10 days of waiting and after 1 month of being sick, finaly, I am once again stoned. Finaly, I can take a breath with out bursting into a coughing spasm. Finaly, I can sleep through a night with out having to wake up after only 2 hours to a violent coughing fit that lasts an hour while I cry and convulse asking why god why do you hate me so much. Finaly I can lay my head down at night with out having to worry about the very likely feeling that I might only get 2 to 3 hours of sleep before I have to get up for work and function in an emotional and sleep deprived state. Little kids don't like to see you cry. It rattles their fragile image of you as an incontravertable authority figure. I am such a little weinerfied drama queen. I could go on and on for hours about my sickly woes but I'm finaly stoned and I ain't gonna bring myself down. God I love NIN. 
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
panicfunction:
Good things. glad you're back on your feet, envy you the weed.
panicfunction:
I think one of the things i hate about myself is that i do find fault in everything else in the world. There are lots of specific hates, i dont particularly want to list them. i suppose i am not a monster really, in the wife beating, small child raping sense, it is just the accumulation of the hates i hold for myself. Thank you, I shall buck up sometime i know, maybe soon.