cc_baxter

last night i did not attend my ex's party. this morning she called me again asking me to lunch with her. this i did do. we met at the Blackberry Bistro. i insisted on meeting her there so we would be in seperate cars so would be on my own timetable and not hers. i was determined to keep the mindset that we are just friends having lunch together. throughtout the repast i can feel that there was something she wanted to say but couldn't. i didn't question or assist her in relieving this statement from her and it wasn't. afterwards we had a little walk and viewed an open house pretending to be newlyweds "i am Dieter and this is Ute and we are the Untergassers." when we arrived back at the car she invited me to her apartment to help her hang a "shelf........."








this i declined. as i see it we are back at square one and she will have to do a lot more courting before she gets beyond that point. i feel very good about this. i like this being in control business. romance can be pleasant when you can take it or leave it. sure i would like to be in head over heels in love, but right this minute it seems like more trouble than it's worth. besides it's winter and my hormones don't boil over until April. ah april...

"April is the cruellest month,breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain."

t.s. elliot



cc