cbomb

Sooo today i actually showered, got out of the house and got the lame boy who's breaking my heart out of my mind for a few hours...

and i mailed off some christmakah (yes i said it) presents for my famnily.....yeeeaaaayyyy!!!!

so...thas good....im back home now....a bit lonely and sad...buuuuutttt im heading out in a few to meet my girl for sime drinks, dinner and shopping...oh and hey!!

i lost 15 lbs over the wknd!!!! thats fukin amazing.......i totally havent eaten since sunday coz ive been down and the thought of food makes me feel ill....so i know thats not good at all....buuuuttt...still....i'll have a good dinner and drinks with my friend and my groceries are being delivered tomorrow so i'll have food in the house and i'll get back to normal habbits.....and i have an interview tomorrow and i have to mail another package tomorrow so i have to get out of the house anyway for the next few days so.....really i am doing much better and i think all the depression and tears was a much needed release of sress that I too often hold inside

I dont like to let it all go and so i really just needed to. also i have total pms and i tend to cry when i get that. i dont get bitchy i get supoer emotional. so...add that all together and u get a sobfest. im not gonna say i dont stiill feel the heartbreak, and the sadness and i still miss him and heart him and wish he would see wot he is losing....

but at least im seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.....that he is missing a great opportunity and he is losing me.....which is lame on his part!!!!

so fuck him!!!


and yay me!! and yay whoever gets me...but good luck coz its gonna ba damn long while before i trust anyone...or give my heart to anyone.....a loooonnnnggg while.....im just gonna not date for a while i think.....its better to not rebound i think.





im hearting my new found clarity

Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference

right???