cavatica

cool, let us have a look...

You are just as capable of not projecting your happiness into the future as anyone. Just think for a second about how haywire your life can go when you are thinking about something other than where you are at. When you catch yourself doing that, when you realize that you are spending too much time in the past or the future, then you have already solved the problem though you may not realize it. You have brought your consciousness to what you are doing. If you don't know you are doing something, how can you know to stop? This is not to say that you should judge yourself when this happens though. Don't say "Shit! I'm dwelling on the past or wishing I was somewhere else at a future point! I shouldn't be that way!" because then you have let the demon sneak in through the back door. At this point we would be projecting away from projecting away, which would be self-defeating. The awareness of what happens is what really is important, and if you find that your current situation is intolerable you can do one of three things:

1)Remove yourself from your situation
2)Change the situation
3)Accept the situation

A bad situation is already bad enough without us turning it into a problem of suffering.

Anticipating or predicting the future is different from thinking that in the future you are going to be happy because something is going to come along and make you or your life better. The reason that this does not work is because Now is all there is. Neglecting Now for a future that is not yet here already dooms that future, because we can only experience anything in the present. Let's say that our life situation somehow changes and it is better. We would have to be present in that moment to enjoy it. If we were thinking about something different, how we wanted things to be another way, we would miss out on the awesome experience that was right there before us. It wouldn't matter how good it actually was, because we wouldn't be giving it our full presence and attention. And though that explanation is hypothetical, it is happening to us right now. This weekend I sat around generally dissatisfied with things because I was thinking about how I want to be somewhere else, with some girl I've never met, spending all kinds of money I don't have, in a place that doesn't exist anywhere but in my thoughts, and I was missing out on all of the awesome things that were around me the whole time: You, Sarah, Joe, Ben, books I could have been reading, songs I could have been listening to, food I could have been eating, and so many other things that are already here right Now.

Plus, her favorite artist is Yoshitaka Amano, and he draws Final Fantasy art and that one Sandman special, so she's a geek too. Which has a certain appeal.

Sorry I didn't make it to the play yesterday. I would have rather hung out here with you than go off yesterday. It's nice to see my friends, but I hate being stuck somewhere at the mercy of other people's driving ability.

So the bar's just a whole lot lower than I estimated.

I knew there was a reason I wasn't letting the stupid thing update! Actually, I've heard bad things all around. The good news is, Firefox really is a superior browser to IE. I've had one or two problems, but mostly it's just been much nicer. And it's three megs or something. Makes you wonder what goes into IE that makes it so much bigger. Or perhaps not if you're smart, but I'm not and frankly, I really don't give a shit.

[Edited on Oct 07, 2004 2:56AM]