catiedid

"here" being Arkansas or "here" being this reality?

Yanno, never mind cause that doesn't matter. My philosophy has quickly evolved into "respect others, but have fun, be a kid" ... most "grown ups" i know have forgotten how to have fun. Go to the top of that grassy hill and roll down it. Run along the beach casting care to the wind. We can't run from reality, but we can certainly take a break from it. I don't mean we should all become irresponsible baffoons, but you just need to remember it's okay to play. Try to enjoy yourself in whatever it is you are doing RIGHT NOW ... make a game out of it possible. What you are doing may suck, but make it ias enjoyable as possible until you find that grassy hill, then take a break and blow off steam.

As far as your place in all this? Try not to worry about it too much. Still look for it (because it is there, but you may find it's not just one place). Don't lose yourself trying to find it ... be a kid, explore, and before you know it, there you are.

Of course, that's just my thoughts. It seems to work for me, but I'm relatively new at it. I'd love to hear a second opinioin (from anyone reading this comment even).

I think tomorrow I'm gonna start a nerf war in the house (in chicago today).

Mind you I don't think you COULD be one of those old ladies you mentioned (age doesn't matter ... they're OLD ) ... it's hard going against the flow of things. Particularly in AR... but I know you can do it. Just based of what I've read in your journal and your comments.

[Edited on Apr 08, 2005 11:23AM]

One of the things I miss in being in a bottom floor apartment is being able to open the windows and let the fresh air in. It's an old building and I'm afraid if I open them, I'll never get them closed. I'm glad you got some sunshine today, things always seem better in the light of the sun.

ooo thanks for the lilac link..yes my little lilac is one of them and come to think of it it did bloom again in late summer...nothing like the spring but still something. Though I'm not sure which one it is.

I have a nice mental picture if icebergslim "dying"...*giggle*

There is nothing so luscious as love under the lilac bush.

Divine pic, divine verse.

I can almost smell the blossoms...



[Edited on Apr 07, 2005 8:52AM]

Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your mommas back
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When somethings going wrong
You must whip it

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
Its not too late
To whip it
Whip it good

When a good time turns around
You must whip it
You will never live it down
Unless you whip it
No one gets away
Until they whip it

I say whip it
Whip it good
I say whip it
Whip it good

Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your mommas back
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When somethings going wrong
You must whip it

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
Its not too late
To whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
Its not too late
To whip it
Whip it good

Hey
It's alays a complete pisser when life throws things at you to knock you off track. I hate the fact that when ~I think I'm dealing with something, then WHAM! something else comes up, bites you on the arse and runs away with you. So just keep on chipping away at what's directly in front of you.

On my travels again, in the nasty borough of Newhaven again, just outside Brighton. One good thing about it though, I've just gone and had myself a new tattoo (I know it's bad, especially when I haven't got my other one finished) If I can take a picture of it, I'll post it, so keep your eyes peeled.

Good going on the lilac, when I was a kid, I had a huge honeysuckle bush outside my window. That smell always takes me back to being a child in a small village. If I were ever to have kids, I'd sure as hell want them to grow up in an environment like I had (Without the warring parents though )

Hope therapy goes well, and that all is as it should be.

One that reblooms??? If you find it let me know.

The woman who lived here before me planted a little one. It's only about three feet high...light lilac flowers...small leaves...and OMG the smell. I'm not sure what its called but I think I've seen it an catalog and it might be called Little Kim.

I'm a total plant "geek" too, so don't worry.

Poor Iceberg might just really be in trouble now..

Why thank you kind and beautiful Catie. I wish I could take credit for them all. Here is a wed site I just found that is pretty cool.

thinkexist

I hope you have a great homecoming, honey...

Hullo, pretty Miss 'did.

Reading your journal, I am struck by how well you have articulated so many things that I myself have been grappling with as of late. My inability to deal with strong emotions (passion, anger, fear), often translates into some very self-destructive, self-defeating behavior. Your statement: "...some situations where anger seems to be the logical reaction, I cry and feel sad and beat myself up. While other situations, that really "aren't that bad," I completely lose control" absolutely hits home for me. And how the destructive ghosts of the past resurface just at that crucial moment when one feels as if one has reached some point of happiness and self-acceptance.

Oh, how I can relate, my sweet friend!

Rant away any time, babe. It is therapeutic and necessary.

to you,

Bete


PS: I adore your new pics. Your inner beauty is SO very evident. (And they are DAMN hot, too!)

[Edited on Apr 05, 2005 8:20AM]

Hey there...do you have kids, too?

PS- I have a feeling that no matter how hard you try you wouldn't be able to be dull.

[Edited on Apr 03, 2005 8:08PM]

Yeah I had some hestition too...but my world seems to be exploding.

i'm assuming you made it home...?

Thank you for the compliments. Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. There are so many things I have to do for school this week! Glad you had a safe trip.

Holy Shit...did you see new remyx pictures...

Of course being a "damn good" mom is a talent... You should really have a t-shirt that says that...wear it to the next PTA...

I hope you had a good trip home, honey. Home can either be a fulfilling journey or a crystal clear reminder of why you don't live there anymore. Which one was it for you? A little of both.

I'm VERY impressed with our buddy remyx...you lovely people and your digital cameras.

FREE pub crawl? Where the hell do I sign up..

Saw my family for Easter. My niece Angela is now 8 months, she's so fun now. She likes me shaved head, she giggles when she touches it.

Yoga class was brutal tonight. We are getting into some balance poses, I was sweating like a mofo.

Has your shoulder healed?

It might be.

aww, thanks. You really like them?

and thousands, no... I only do what I can here and there.

besides keeping things out of my eyes, I think they just add to the whole mystique.