catiedid

I'm having a hard time posting today. I've written, erased, written, erased, written, erased, unable to "press enter". I don't like censoring myself, but today I feel the need to. I hate witnessing pain. I hate completely understanding the pain I witness and being unable to do anything about it.

I'm thinking about my age today. How happy I am to be the age I am but at the same time wondering when I started using skin firming/age defying lotion There is strength in my age and my life experience. Although I have recently found myself in situations where I questioned who I was and wondered if there was something wrong with me based on the reaction of another, ultimately I realized the problems weren't within me. I am comfortable and confident in who I am, where I've been and where I'm going. If I had been 10 years younger over the past year, I don't know if I would have survived it intact.

Anyway, enough of that. I just feel so damn helpless. I just want her to be true to herself and not let anyone make her feel bad for who she is. No one should make her feel inadequate.

URGH!!! I wonder how long I will keep this post up before thinking better of it and taking it down. I'm mad today.

My Bulldog died on Wednesday. Long story that I really have no desire to go into, but I think she was happy when she died. Life is so fucking ironic.

My feet are firmly planted in reality. It's okay to dream, but it's not okay to get lost in them. Words are magical and wonderful and I'm the first one to admit being seduced by them on more than one occasion, but I'm learning there are those that hide behind words where feelings are unable to penetrate.