catiedid

Stress and depression have aged me. I compare recent pictures of me with pics taken less than a year ago and the difference is frightening. I have the ever present dark circles under my eyes, wrinkles have formed around my eyes and mouth, and on my forehead. My eyes are a little hollow. Even though I feel I have made such progress, my eyes have lost their fire, their life. I feel myself slipping back. I was told this might happen. Maybe I haven't hit rock bottom after all. Perhaps I haven't hit my ass on the lowest level.

For the one who seems determined to push me back into the darkness, please stop. You've made your point. You know how to hurt me...BRAVO...

The gym has become my salvation during all this shit I am going through. I've been able to reconnect with music. Although, I find myself trying to run or lift weights to the beat of the music. Must be the dancer in me. I get really frustrated when my body isn't moving in time with the music. So I drum my hands against the equipment, bob my head, close my eyes to lose myself in the music and ignore the burn in my body. Feels good to burn...feels good to feel.

In other news, my dogs ate a hole in my couch yesterday. I guess I have to go couch shopping now. I am going away with my mom next weekend for a little mother/daughter bonding and shopping where I went to college. I haven't been back in 10 years, I am sooo excited! I need to make hotel reservations! I got so frustrated trying to find a flight from Little Rock to Indianapolis. So different than flying out of DC when I not only had flights going out every couple hours but 3 airports to choose from. Of course no direct flights from LR to Indy, but hell, I don't want to fly through Detroit and have it take me 6 hours! I might as well drive. I finally found a flight through Memphis that will only take me about 3 1/2 hours...cool.