catiedid

somehow, someday, i will find my happiness. not through anyone else, but within myself. i have found, over the course of the past 6 months or so, that unless i find happiness within myself, i can't love or make other people happy. and i can't rely on others to make me happy. i've caused a lot of pain to a lot of people recently. and the only way i can make it stop is by making it worse in order to make it better. i feel lost. i feel as if i am fumbling around in the dark. i don't know how to fix the mess i have created. i don't know how to find happiness within myself. i have so much love to give, but it gets lost in my insecurity and my inability to accept myself. i try so hard to make other people happy i don't know how to make myself happy. i know i'm not making any sense here. i'm typing through tears of pain and frustration. tears for the hurt i have caused loved ones and tears for the hurt i have caused myself. there is no one to reach out to. i must rely on myself. i will not disappear...