Emotastica: eek! don't be away!
*** Auto-response from RPMguitar: i cant talk right now cause i'm not here
Emotastica: gimme information :-P
Emotastica: :-P
RPMguitar: hey
Emotastica: there you are
RPMguitar: it was a short practice so we didnt have time to call ya
RPMguitar: we only did a few songs
Emotastica: nooooooooooo
Emotastica: I'm going to cry now
RPMguitar: you didnt miss much
RPMguitar: dave and brian got here pretty late and i had to go buy a battery for my pedal anyway
Emotastica: oh
RPMguitar: so we really didnt get much practice time in
Emotastica: well I want to see you!
RPMguitar: we'll try again next monday hehe
Emotastica: aurgh!
Emotastica: I haven't seen you in like 3 months
RPMguitar: i know, im sorry
RPMguitar: this has been a pretty crappy semester
RPMguitar: i've been hella busy
Emotastica: so have I!
Emotastica: I wish I could think of something clever to say.
RPMguitar: hehe
RPMguitar: 'sok
RPMguitar: anyway i'm gonna go lay down and watch some tv before i start my homework
RPMguitar: i'll catch ya later
Emotastica: I know it's not all that important to you to spend time with me
RPMguitar: dont say that
RPMguitar: it's not just you
RPMguitar: i havent been spending time with anybody really
Emotastica: well dammit, I really want to see you.
Emotastica: I don't know why I like you so much
RPMguitar: ... i dont either. i'm just a very overworked lazy bum
RPMguitar: hehe
RPMguitar: really though, i'm nothin special
Emotastica: maybe you are though
Emotastica: I just thought you were a really nice person
RPMguitar: i try to be
RPMguitar: i think i'm a nice guy, but i'm really busy during the week
RPMguitar: and the weekend is all footall
RPMguitar: i mean get this, i havent even called my mom in the past 3 weeks
Emotastica: your mom doesn't call you?
RPMguitar: she's called 3 times, and i've talked to her maybe a total of 5 minutes
RPMguitar: i'm either busy or tired pretty much always
Emotastica: yeah
RPMguitar: anyway i'm gonna go relax for a while before i start my homework
RPMguitar: i'll catch ya later ok?
Emotastica: ok
Emotastica: I don't know
Session Close (RPMguitar): Mon Oct 21 17:18:45 2002
Rather than making a new entry I'm just going to add on to this. I'm trying to write my French paper(s) and I can't. Maybe I should've said more to Ryan. I think he's really stupid and, well, I know it's time to give up on him. I don't know, it's just hard. And I guess there really isn't a way to just make him see. It hurts that he talks about how busy he is, too busy to even talk to his mom, but I know he went out with that internet girl last week. Why can't he give me a few hours? One hours? 30 fucking minutes? Goddamn, is it really that hard.
"The weekend is all football" (I almost typed "fuckball.") Fuck, football isn't on for 24 fucking hours.
And dammit , no matter what, you always have to eat.
Maybe I can get him to go see Saves the Day with me next month. I talked to him about it earlier and he's not sure if he's going (depends on what he has going on). That would be nice.
And the band should be playing my birthday party...
I just want to cry. But I have two papers to write and two midterms to study for. I really hate my French class right now. Ugh. I wish I could just drop it and study for my British Lit midterm but, uh, I'm already down to 6 hours and my parents would definitely make me go home if I dropped down to 3.
Why do I keep worrying about Ryan? I realize he isn't worth it, even he said he isn't worth it, but I just find that so hard to believe. The effect he has on me is so profound, being in a room with him completely lights up my world, I said "he makes my soul smile" and I meant it.
I wish I could hit him. That's how he made me feel. And when he brought up that stuff about his mom you know what I felt like saying? "Your mom doesn't want to have sex with you" Ha! I didn't though.
I better do French. It really sucks. I'm going to be up all night writing these papers and I'll never be prepared for my British Lit mid-term and that's the class I actually have a chance to make an A in it and now this other class that I'm FAILING and probably can't bring the grade up to higher than a C is going to bring me down in there! Fucking Bullshit. I hate school.
*** Auto-response from RPMguitar: i cant talk right now cause i'm not here
Emotastica: gimme information :-P
Emotastica: :-P
RPMguitar: hey
Emotastica: there you are
RPMguitar: it was a short practice so we didnt have time to call ya
RPMguitar: we only did a few songs
Emotastica: nooooooooooo
Emotastica: I'm going to cry now
RPMguitar: you didnt miss much
RPMguitar: dave and brian got here pretty late and i had to go buy a battery for my pedal anyway
Emotastica: oh
RPMguitar: so we really didnt get much practice time in
Emotastica: well I want to see you!
RPMguitar: we'll try again next monday hehe
Emotastica: aurgh!
Emotastica: I haven't seen you in like 3 months
RPMguitar: i know, im sorry
RPMguitar: this has been a pretty crappy semester
RPMguitar: i've been hella busy
Emotastica: so have I!
Emotastica: I wish I could think of something clever to say.
RPMguitar: hehe
RPMguitar: 'sok
RPMguitar: anyway i'm gonna go lay down and watch some tv before i start my homework
RPMguitar: i'll catch ya later
Emotastica: I know it's not all that important to you to spend time with me
RPMguitar: dont say that
RPMguitar: it's not just you
RPMguitar: i havent been spending time with anybody really
Emotastica: well dammit, I really want to see you.
Emotastica: I don't know why I like you so much
RPMguitar: ... i dont either. i'm just a very overworked lazy bum
RPMguitar: hehe
RPMguitar: really though, i'm nothin special
Emotastica: maybe you are though
Emotastica: I just thought you were a really nice person
RPMguitar: i try to be
RPMguitar: i think i'm a nice guy, but i'm really busy during the week
RPMguitar: and the weekend is all footall
RPMguitar: i mean get this, i havent even called my mom in the past 3 weeks
Emotastica: your mom doesn't call you?
RPMguitar: she's called 3 times, and i've talked to her maybe a total of 5 minutes
RPMguitar: i'm either busy or tired pretty much always
Emotastica: yeah
RPMguitar: anyway i'm gonna go relax for a while before i start my homework
RPMguitar: i'll catch ya later ok?
Emotastica: ok
Emotastica: I don't know
Session Close (RPMguitar): Mon Oct 21 17:18:45 2002
Rather than making a new entry I'm just going to add on to this. I'm trying to write my French paper(s) and I can't. Maybe I should've said more to Ryan. I think he's really stupid and, well, I know it's time to give up on him. I don't know, it's just hard. And I guess there really isn't a way to just make him see. It hurts that he talks about how busy he is, too busy to even talk to his mom, but I know he went out with that internet girl last week. Why can't he give me a few hours? One hours? 30 fucking minutes? Goddamn, is it really that hard.
"The weekend is all football" (I almost typed "fuckball.") Fuck, football isn't on for 24 fucking hours.
And dammit , no matter what, you always have to eat.
Maybe I can get him to go see Saves the Day with me next month. I talked to him about it earlier and he's not sure if he's going (depends on what he has going on). That would be nice.
And the band should be playing my birthday party...
I just want to cry. But I have two papers to write and two midterms to study for. I really hate my French class right now. Ugh. I wish I could just drop it and study for my British Lit midterm but, uh, I'm already down to 6 hours and my parents would definitely make me go home if I dropped down to 3.
Why do I keep worrying about Ryan? I realize he isn't worth it, even he said he isn't worth it, but I just find that so hard to believe. The effect he has on me is so profound, being in a room with him completely lights up my world, I said "he makes my soul smile" and I meant it.
I wish I could hit him. That's how he made me feel. And when he brought up that stuff about his mom you know what I felt like saying? "Your mom doesn't want to have sex with you" Ha! I didn't though.
I better do French. It really sucks. I'm going to be up all night writing these papers and I'll never be prepared for my British Lit mid-term and that's the class I actually have a chance to make an A in it and now this other class that I'm FAILING and probably can't bring the grade up to higher than a C is going to bring me down in there! Fucking Bullshit. I hate school.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
The funny thing is, and this has happened to me more than once, when I finally get over it there is always a whole collection of people who had been into me but hadn't bothered to let me know because they could see as plain as day how obsessed I was and knew they wouldn't have had a snowball's chance in hell.
Post-megacrush dating is kind of like post-fight sex that way...something amazing happens suddenly in the aftermath of something awful.
Mmmm...post-fight sex.
-ff