catculus

I gave up and took my medicine...it obviously must have been doing SOMETHING for me if I'm feeling this much worse when I'm not on it. Blaurgh.
I was calling people like crazy today. No one was home. Meesh had to leave because her phone was dying. My mom... ugh. I hate it when people tell me to be happy, think happy thoughts, and just do my homework and school stuff and school's all that matters...
See, I looked at my course requirements sheet for my African American Lit class and it says he won't take the paper late. I guess I'll still try. Fuck, I don't care how many points he takes off, I just don't want a zero...
I don't know though, I just want to sleep. I was trying to clean my room a bit but I just didn't really feel like it. I don't feel like doing anything.
I think I'm starting to be a little suicidal. I've never been this bad before.
What else was I going to say. I know I had a lot to say but I can't really think. I'm in the lobby because my computer is fucked up again--I don't think the network is down because it's saying I'm connecting but the internet isn't working. And the computer won't shut down. I'm defragmenting right now. *shrug* I need Marc to come help me or something...
This is the first time I've see John working the desk in a long time. He smiled at me but I don't think he wants to talk to me so I don't know if I should go over there or not. I think I'm going to go smoke.