catatonia

Back again. I just can't seem to stay away, although next time I go missing, it might be for good. The site keeps changing. If I criticize the new layout, I might get banned, but I must say, I preferred the old one infinitely to this one. I wonder what prompted the change?

I started dancing (exotic) at a local club. It was sort of an accident--I went to amateur night to support a friend, but they told me I had to be 21 or dancing to get in...so I danced. They offered me a job, and since I made a whole bunch of money and had a lot of fun the first night, I took them up on it. I went again last night, and it was miserable. F*cking Red Sox--for two and a half hours, there wasn't a customer in the place. NOT ONE! I barely made enough to break even after tip-out. I'm hoping that next week will be better. I wanted to buy a pair of good shoes to dance in--I've been using a pair of boots which is comfortable but not as sexy or dancer-ish as the shoes the other girls wear. Not as high, either, although I'm really not good with stiletto high heels. I nearly killed myself last night when I tried to dance in a pair I borrowed. I don't truthfully know if I'm cut out for it. My dancing seems uninspired and repetitive, and I feel sort of awkward giving private dances. I need help.

Hopefully, I'll make more money next week. It'd be hard to make less.