catatac

Hm. Where has my soul gone? I seem to have lost it. I know it's around here *somewhere*. I swear I'm not just complaining cause it's a drizzly day. For the last, like 3 weeks I've been a lazy asshole. EVERYTHING irritates me. I just flop around the house which I HATE, but I have little impotice (sp.?) to do anything else. I used to be, I daresay, a little fiery. I used to want something and go after it. Now I just kinda sorta want, but I really don't seem to care either way. Why?
Maybe i should lay off the happy poofiness for a while. I pretty much spent Sunday smoking hash and watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Yep. 13 episodes. In a row. My brain feel like fried cheese...and I guess that's how my body feels too. Hot and gooey, lacking in form and tensile strength, held together only by the outer shell, which comes across as fragile as well.

There are plenty of things I should be wanting to do. I should be going to school. (Because how can I complain about not meeting people when I stay in the house most of the time and when I do go out I have the baby. She garners lots of coos, but isn't making me any friends.) I should want to start doing the art thing for real. I worry though, that since what I do isn't necessarily child-friendly, it could somehow compromise my job. (Although that's probably just my excuse for being a shiftless jerk. What? I got ideas! Yeah, so does everyone else. Act on them.)

I'm so vexed with myself.