It's a cranky, tired, bitchy spent kitty.
My dearereerest friend and I had a tete-a-tete last night that lasted into the wee hours of the morning, in which she said all the horrible things that I already know and have been willfully ignoring for a dangerously long time. I'm literally putting my life at risk for something fleeting and stupid....and STILL I don't wanna stop. What the hell is that? What a fucktard.
And you know what? If the underlying problem to ALL this madness were to be exposed, it would only make things worse. It's inexplicable, and it's just who I am. This huge part of my brain that I have to hide from everyone in the world. NO one but me knows. Do you have a secret like that? It's a heavy stone on your chest.
And that one little skeleton is the reason for an unhappiness that could last me my whole life. I know exactly what it is. How fucking frustrating. How fucking unfair. How fucking fucked-up.
Look into the deepest darkest part of you to that one thing about you that can wipe all expression off your face in an instant, the one thing that can draw the blood from your skin.
Don't worry, it's nothing criminal. It's not a clinical death sentence. I just want to curl up under a pile of stones and sink into the sand.