get cats and kittens what's up on this fine friday. tgif right? what a week for me i'm so glad it's done, and it's time to party, relax, and just enjoy for 2 whole days! YAY.
how is everyone?
other than the headache i had earlier that wouldn't go away, i'm surprisingly good. been reevaluating a lot of things as it is the beginning of the year - trying to exit some strategies that i've undertaken that seem to have become rather fruitless, while pursuing some other potential options. it's strange to be going through a transitional period all along questioning the authority, wondering, hoping, wishing and having a little bit of faith.
but the thing is this, i'm strong. if there's one thing i've learned in the past 2 years of being on my own, is that i can actually take care of myself - however, i do need people. i will survive - just like the song says - and it's not always easy but until i'm in a position to deal with someone who wants to move forward, and not sit in the past and continue to point fingers and bring up shit from before, then i will forever be in limbo.
it's hard, it's hard not to just continue as the status quo. it's hard to take a stand for yourself, and push for what you feel you deserve. i have to continue to pat myself on the back, and push myself more and more everyday not to fall back into the old routine - because that, is safe.
what's new, what's fresh, what doesn't have the jading, what has infinite possibilities because we haven't yet fucked it up - well, i'm not going to hold myself back from that anymore because i do deserve to be happy.
i can't continue to feel like i have to make up for mistakes ive made. i can't continue to feel bad, and regret the things i've done, i can't continue to live in a romanticized version of history, thinking if i could just get everything back the way it was, it would be like it was, but better.
no
it really wouldn't.
it would be now it is meant to be now - if that was even the case. and the fact that it's not, even if that's just for right now, is ok. i can't control how people feel, or what they think...or their level of understanding and certainly not their ability to forgive. i deserve it i've been the pillar of consistency for 2 years. and now i'm going to see what i can do about being consistent about making myself happy.
imagine that.
what does it all mean anyhow? this is a very cryptic blog and yeah it's kinda supposed to be. chances are nobody's read this far anyhow b/c most of it only makes sense to me.
i want to remember, how it feels to be stuck, i want to remember how it feels to have everything to look forward to.
and
i finally do
<3
have a great weekend kids.
xoxo,
Cass
how is everyone?
other than the headache i had earlier that wouldn't go away, i'm surprisingly good. been reevaluating a lot of things as it is the beginning of the year - trying to exit some strategies that i've undertaken that seem to have become rather fruitless, while pursuing some other potential options. it's strange to be going through a transitional period all along questioning the authority, wondering, hoping, wishing and having a little bit of faith.
but the thing is this, i'm strong. if there's one thing i've learned in the past 2 years of being on my own, is that i can actually take care of myself - however, i do need people. i will survive - just like the song says - and it's not always easy but until i'm in a position to deal with someone who wants to move forward, and not sit in the past and continue to point fingers and bring up shit from before, then i will forever be in limbo.
it's hard, it's hard not to just continue as the status quo. it's hard to take a stand for yourself, and push for what you feel you deserve. i have to continue to pat myself on the back, and push myself more and more everyday not to fall back into the old routine - because that, is safe.
what's new, what's fresh, what doesn't have the jading, what has infinite possibilities because we haven't yet fucked it up - well, i'm not going to hold myself back from that anymore because i do deserve to be happy.
i can't continue to feel like i have to make up for mistakes ive made. i can't continue to feel bad, and regret the things i've done, i can't continue to live in a romanticized version of history, thinking if i could just get everything back the way it was, it would be like it was, but better.
no
it really wouldn't.
it would be now it is meant to be now - if that was even the case. and the fact that it's not, even if that's just for right now, is ok. i can't control how people feel, or what they think...or their level of understanding and certainly not their ability to forgive. i deserve it i've been the pillar of consistency for 2 years. and now i'm going to see what i can do about being consistent about making myself happy.
imagine that.
what does it all mean anyhow? this is a very cryptic blog and yeah it's kinda supposed to be. chances are nobody's read this far anyhow b/c most of it only makes sense to me.
i want to remember, how it feels to be stuck, i want to remember how it feels to have everything to look forward to.
and
i finally do
<3
have a great weekend kids.
xoxo,
Cass
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Look at me. I'm evolving every day and expanding my horizons. If you're not afraid of change and look forward to discovering the real you, this is a journey you'll be happy you took.