came up with this epiphany tonight, tell me if you agree...
if you are in a relationship, doesn't matter what kind, platonic, love, marriage, friendship, if something happens or you do something you feel you have to "hide" or "not mention" to someone else, chances are it's wrong....
i'm not saying this is 100% of the time rule, but lately i've been dealing with family drama between my parents, and i feel like my mom is being really deceitful, and spiteful, and secretive about money stuff, and i don't like it, and i feel like if you think what you're doing is right, just TELL the other person it's what you want to do. if you think you're justified, then make your case, give them an opportunity to respond, do something. i mean these people have been married since the 2nd coming of JC, let's get it together people.
it's hard to watch the deterioration of people. my mom's an alcoholic for most of you who may not know, and it's something i have had to deal with for many years now. she's come from a family where all her sisters have died of alcoholism, and her parents as well. of course she's "in control" and i'll tell you she's not. it's hard, i want to be there for her w/o enabling her but she won't admit she has an issue. i wish she'd go to rehab, just get it over with and kick the stuff for good, but it's not about what i want. watching the deterioration of a person, it's not just about the alcoholism, it's about so many other aspects of their life, that are contributed to or taken away from as a result. i won't pity party about it, just something i was talking to my bro about tonight when we had drinks.
the other thing he said to me is that he likes x. pisses me off that my ex boyfriend got him into it, of course it's all fine and fun and dandy. i just hate it, b/c i'm anti drugs sorry people. i'm straight as an arrow, daddy's a cop yeah yeah, but i'm granola thru and thru, esp when it comes to mind altering stuff (other than occasional alcohol). i dunno feels like a human afront to my dad's work his whole life, risking his life to make the streets safe for kids, and people who had fallen prey to drugs. i dunno, i just wish my baby brother would think before doing shit like that. i'm not saying he's an addict, but it just bothers me that he was asking me if i'd try it tonight, ugh. not a chance in banana land. and i can't judge him, but shit he's got 3 little kid, and he's my brother. feels like he's risking his health and life, and what really could be worth that. lame.
i miss josh tonight. didn't get a chance to talk to him and i just wish he was here, so now that i'm home i could hop into bed, and crawl into his arms. there's no place in the whole wide world i'd rather be than snuggled up on his chest. there's such a great comfort knowing that i have the one that loves me, although he's not in arms reach right now, but he's there, he exists...he's not just a figment of my imagination. and in this world, there is someone that really gets me, and loves me, the way i am, flaws and all --all my moody ways, my crazy talking, my giggles, my sillyness, my sassiness, my emoness, my happiness, the occasional hard times too. even with all the family crap. this is good man, an angel in all rights. not perfect, but perfect FOR me. i take a great deal of comfort knowing this, and knowing that he loves me too really does help me sleep better at night. i can't wait for tomorrow to fall in love with that laugh again. it's guaranteed.
xoxo
night kiddos,
Cass
if you are in a relationship, doesn't matter what kind, platonic, love, marriage, friendship, if something happens or you do something you feel you have to "hide" or "not mention" to someone else, chances are it's wrong....
i'm not saying this is 100% of the time rule, but lately i've been dealing with family drama between my parents, and i feel like my mom is being really deceitful, and spiteful, and secretive about money stuff, and i don't like it, and i feel like if you think what you're doing is right, just TELL the other person it's what you want to do. if you think you're justified, then make your case, give them an opportunity to respond, do something. i mean these people have been married since the 2nd coming of JC, let's get it together people.
it's hard to watch the deterioration of people. my mom's an alcoholic for most of you who may not know, and it's something i have had to deal with for many years now. she's come from a family where all her sisters have died of alcoholism, and her parents as well. of course she's "in control" and i'll tell you she's not. it's hard, i want to be there for her w/o enabling her but she won't admit she has an issue. i wish she'd go to rehab, just get it over with and kick the stuff for good, but it's not about what i want. watching the deterioration of a person, it's not just about the alcoholism, it's about so many other aspects of their life, that are contributed to or taken away from as a result. i won't pity party about it, just something i was talking to my bro about tonight when we had drinks.
the other thing he said to me is that he likes x. pisses me off that my ex boyfriend got him into it, of course it's all fine and fun and dandy. i just hate it, b/c i'm anti drugs sorry people. i'm straight as an arrow, daddy's a cop yeah yeah, but i'm granola thru and thru, esp when it comes to mind altering stuff (other than occasional alcohol). i dunno feels like a human afront to my dad's work his whole life, risking his life to make the streets safe for kids, and people who had fallen prey to drugs. i dunno, i just wish my baby brother would think before doing shit like that. i'm not saying he's an addict, but it just bothers me that he was asking me if i'd try it tonight, ugh. not a chance in banana land. and i can't judge him, but shit he's got 3 little kid, and he's my brother. feels like he's risking his health and life, and what really could be worth that. lame.
i miss josh tonight. didn't get a chance to talk to him and i just wish he was here, so now that i'm home i could hop into bed, and crawl into his arms. there's no place in the whole wide world i'd rather be than snuggled up on his chest. there's such a great comfort knowing that i have the one that loves me, although he's not in arms reach right now, but he's there, he exists...he's not just a figment of my imagination. and in this world, there is someone that really gets me, and loves me, the way i am, flaws and all --all my moody ways, my crazy talking, my giggles, my sillyness, my sassiness, my emoness, my happiness, the occasional hard times too. even with all the family crap. this is good man, an angel in all rights. not perfect, but perfect FOR me. i take a great deal of comfort knowing this, and knowing that he loves me too really does help me sleep better at night. i can't wait for tomorrow to fall in love with that laugh again. it's guaranteed.
xoxo
night kiddos,
Cass
I believe that honesty, transparency and being okay with discussing a relationship and the person with whom your in the relationship with others are important factors in deterrmining if it's a healthy one. Feeling that you have to "hide" someone you're with is a red flag.
I also understand where you are coming from with the drugs. I don't agree entirely, but now that I have a kid, I certainly have a different attitude towards drugs than I did when I was younger. Same thing goes for booze... after all, it destroys just as many (if not more) lives as most drugs. My wife's dad is s dry drunk--sober for 20 years, and still as dysfunctional as ever. *sigh*