Monday Feb 23, 2004

0
How do I feel today? Hmm... does anyone care? Doubt it. But, just in case (not crossing my fingers), I'll tell you. There's only one way I can think of to explain how I feel today... I'll just write out the song of the day for Neve.


I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear my crown of shit
on my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stain of time
the feeling disappears
you are someone else
I am still right here
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way



Yeah, I know. No one wants to hear about this little girl and how she feels. I'll get better soon. You don't really know me so you don't know that this isn't an all the time thing for me. I'm not constantly depressed and down. It's a every once and a while thing... and when it happens I need some way of getting it all out. I still haven't found a way to get it all out in a healthy way... for now this is it. If anyone actually reads this crap and has any suggestions then please by all means let me know what you're thinking.

serudeboi:
People do care! Being depressed sux, but there is not much you can do about it 'cept move on to something better. So, what did you lose? Unless its chemical in nature, then depression is brought on by an emotional reaction to some sense of loss. I read that somewhere and once I did I actually could do something about it! Now, when I get down I ask myself what did I lose or what am I missing? and once I figure out what it is I do something about it!
seether:
Depressed isn't always bad... it makes the good days seem even better wink

The Contortionist's Handbook is a good read, especially if you like Chuck Palahniuk's works. It's raw, it's sarcastic, and it's twisted.

Chuck had a voice blog where he praised it, said it was the best book he has read in like five or ten years... SG also has a interview with the author: Craig Clevenger

Let me know how you like it...

BTW NIN is the best music to listen to when you are down, my fav is The Fragile (left disk) when I'm down and out.

-Ssssssssssssssssss

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