This is going to be a very personal blog post, so please don’t feel obligated to read it. I really just need to document this and SG is the only place I feel like I am safe to share it. From 9:30pm until about 3:30am on August 24th, I had to remove myself from my brand new apartment and fit as much of my stuff that would fit into my boyfriend’s apartment in a matter of hours. so much happened in about a week of living there that I couldn’t stand to live there another day.

Okay, now the backstory. I lived with my best friend and his boyfriend.In December we all moved about 16 hours away from our parents together to go to school of our dreams. I’ve never really felt good about the boyfriend, but every time I would bring up concern my best friend would tell me that it’s not my relationship and not to care about it. I felt that I should care if I am living with him, but I was told that it was happening and I had to deal with it. They started dating in January of 2014 and since then, I have been slowly losing my best friend. He kept pushing my feelings to the side if they did not agree with his or his boyfriend’s. It was starting to hurt, but it was such small situations that I soon got used to being treated this way. When my boyfriend and I got together, about 6 months ago, he started to notice this behavior and question why I still called this guy my best friend. These question would hurt, but were not unsolicited. He always had a point… a point that I had been trying to ignore.

Four months ago we found out that the boyfriend had cheated throughout their entire over a year relationship. I DON’T PUT UP WITH CHEATERS. Period. However, I didn’t know if we could afford to live without him. So we let him stay on a temporary basis. My best friend and I agreed that if anything else like this came up again, the boyfriend would not live with us under any circumstances and I was told that the boyfriend had agreed to these terms. At this point the boyfriend had multiple chances to just stop all the lying and get everything out there. He promised it was only one guy and this was it. Well we ended up getting out of our lease at our terrible apartment and signing at a new beautiful place. We had to live a month and a half more at the terrible place and my best friend was leaving for tour for most of that time. While he was gone, I tried to commiserate and nice to the boyfriend, even though every part of me wanted to be mean to him. He actually was very rude to me and my boyfriend most of that time. He would randomly have an attitude with us and completely ignore us, making things very awkward. I started to grow irritated with his behavior and I told my best friend when he got home. We all had a talk, I told the boyfriend that I didn’t want to be friends with him, but that I would respect him as a roommate. For me, he was on probation on earning my trust back. Things were going okay when we moved into our new place, but I still didn’t want much to do with the boyfriend and my best friend continued to try to get me to be friends with him again after me telling him repeatedly that I wasn’t interested.

Well a few days into living in our new place, we found out that he actually had another guy that he even went on a date with someone who lives in our area. Now, when I was told this, my roommate said they are done and he is gone. I felt like that was the right thing to do. Then in the midst of a few hours, my best friend came back and said that he didn’t feel right kicking out his lying, cheating boyfriend. I said that we all needed to talk about this. I asked for time to think, the boyfriend said he would go stay at a friends for a week to let me think and I said that would be helpful, but my best friend said it wouldn’t be necessary. This is one of many times that when I calmly expressed my feelings, they were completely neglected and overlooked. I couldn’t believe that my best friend didn’t even care how I felt at all and would not even give me a week to think about how I felt. Then, the boyfriend said he didn’t think he had any reason to leave and later his mom called us to say that we weren’t allowed to kick him out. I cannot stand being told how I can think and what I can feel. So this news set me off.

At this point, I mentioned that the only other option for me would be to remove myself completely. My best friend told me that he would help me move out and he would find a new roommate. He didn’t even try to fight it. I told him that I needed to think on it and over then next few days I was treated so terribly by my best friend, the boyfriend, and the boyfriend’s mom. So I finally told them that my mind was made up about moving in with my boyfriend and I thought they were going to be nice about it. We had a decent talk about it being a really easy transition. My best friend said he wanted it to not be stressful and for all of us to be adults about it. I offered to pay rent for September, since there was only one week left until the rent was due. My best friend said he didn’t want me to have to pay rent for somewhere that I wasn’t going to be living. I said that if it came down to them not finding a roommate, I would still help with the rent for September. I was pretty happy with that news and started packing some of my stuff. That night I took my cat and as much would fit into our cars to my boyfriend’s apartment. Unfortunately, the next night at 9:30pm I was told that I need to be out by the next afternoon so their new roommate could move in. No, they couldn’t legally kick me out, but I was so hurt I felt I needed to leave. They had recklessly packed some of my stuff and just thrown it into my room, as well as reorganizing the entire house. They basically acted like I didn’t belong there anymore. To make it worse, he sat on the couch with his new roommate watching TV while my boyfriend and I moved all of my stuff.

The next day he texted me about not vacuuming or cleaning my bathroom. I politely explained to him that if he wanted me out the night before, then I just simply didn’t have time because I had school all day the day before and the next day. He said that it wasn’t his fault that I wanted them to find a roommate so quickly. Remember when I said I would pay rent for September and HE said no? At this point I knew that there was no rational way to talk to him, so I just didn’t respond. I needed to protect myself from being more hurt, and not provoking him was my best option. Later that night he also posted two incredibly rude things about me on twitter, one of which was about not cleaning the bathroom. To add insult to injury, the boyfriend’s mom FB messaged me the next day to tell me how shitty I am and that I’m not all high and mighty. She told me that I need to learn forgiveness. Also, that I’m going to screw up at some point and that she hopes I don’t get forgiven for it, so I know how it feels. Honestly, I’ve been through a lot in my life and I’ve forgiven so much more than she knows. She doesn’t know me at all and neither does her son. If she felt like it was appropriate to attack someone over less than half her age, then I really feel bad for her. Again, I just didn’t respond.

The last time I contacted them was to tell my best friend that the renters insurance company wouldn’t let me change the policy to his name, so I had to cancel it, and to ask for my third of the security deposit. He never responded. At this point, I’m waiting for them to contact me about the returned security deposit check from our old place, which I have to sign for them to cash, and at that point I will ask for the other security deposit as well. I don’t know what this means for our friendship because I am so incredibly hurt by this entire situation. I just am trying to remember how lucky I am to have my boyfriend, his roommates, another good friend, and my mom who have supported me through all of this. I’m so ready for all of this to be over.

If you made it to the end of this, thank you for reading. I really just needed to write this down.

<3CrypticHeart