So I'm pretty much feeling really hopeless lately. I've been taken off my Zyprexa because I gained almost 20lbs in three weeks. Ugh. I'm weighing in at 196 right now. Let me tell you I really just want to cut up my body and get rid of that 20lbs of fat. But thats not really realistic. So I was off my meds for not even a week before I had a manic episode at my parents house and was bouncing off the walls. I had total ants in my pants and could not calm down and my wonderful mother 
kept yelling at me telling me to chill and calm down. Well ma, if I could I would but guess what. I'm crazy.
So I had my psychiatrist appt and he prescribed seroquel and i'm worried about gaining more weight. yuck. And also the stigma that comes with that kinda med. As soon as a Dr or nurse sees that youre on that kind of med you're automatically branded as being crazy. It's unfortunate but pretty true.
So I also spent all my money so I can't pay any of my bills. wow. i love being bipolar. (complete sarcasm). At least I started my new job so hopefully in the next two months i'll be able to catch up on all those silly bills and maxed out credit cards. I don't even know what I spent it on.
I left all my cards at home and I don't have anything on my debit so I guess i'm not spending money any time soon.
Anywho it's time to go to my second job. I can barely fit into my uniform so I am gonna start running when I get home from work now. (not tonight cause I'm not gonna get home until lateeee and I didn't run this morning cause i was too hung over)
On another note. The new Taking Back Sunday CD is AMAZING. Go listen. i swear! They are playing in rochester soon so hopefully I'll be able to make it and see them play with anberlin. Next weekend i'm seeing Bayside and I Am The Avalanche (sooo excited!)
Have a good night kids!
i threw it all away just to prove that i could.
kept yelling at me telling me to chill and calm down. Well ma, if I could I would but guess what. I'm crazy.
So I had my psychiatrist appt and he prescribed seroquel and i'm worried about gaining more weight. yuck. And also the stigma that comes with that kinda med. As soon as a Dr or nurse sees that youre on that kind of med you're automatically branded as being crazy. It's unfortunate but pretty true.
So I also spent all my money so I can't pay any of my bills. wow. i love being bipolar. (complete sarcasm). At least I started my new job so hopefully in the next two months i'll be able to catch up on all those silly bills and maxed out credit cards. I don't even know what I spent it on.
I left all my cards at home and I don't have anything on my debit so I guess i'm not spending money any time soon.
Anywho it's time to go to my second job. I can barely fit into my uniform so I am gonna start running when I get home from work now. (not tonight cause I'm not gonna get home until lateeee and I didn't run this morning cause i was too hung over)
On another note. The new Taking Back Sunday CD is AMAZING. Go listen. i swear! They are playing in rochester soon so hopefully I'll be able to make it and see them play with anberlin. Next weekend i'm seeing Bayside and I Am The Avalanche (sooo excited!)
Have a good night kids!
i threw it all away just to prove that i could.
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with love
jeny
Bipolar...at least your in good company! I hate it. I hate having to take the meds, the mood swings, the helpless feelings at times and the hopelessness. i could go on and on...Hope things balance out for you.
Tell me about it. I hate feeling great one minute and then the next minute the world is crashing down on me. I'm glad it's not rapid cycling. But feeling like you can't control yourself and feeling completely hopeless is the worst.
Thanks though :o)