casanova

For most of my childhood I was considered a bit of an "overachiever" in school by my peers. School came so easy to me, I never really remembered studying for tests or stressing over exams. I was the smart kid, the kid who wrote reports for herself and her friends, the kid who's papers got read by the teachers out loud, hell, once I got an A on a paper I didn't even finish. I definitely wasn't cool, or popular, or even mildly attractive, but I LOVED school. I loved every-fucking-thing about school. I feel like nothing is ever going to top those years for me.

After high school ended the world got a whole lot bigger, a whole lot more complicated, and very very scary. The world got scary in a way that wasn't even interesting to me, there were no epic mideval battles going on, no dinosaurs ripping people apart and most sadly, no vampires. Instead of all these things that should ACTUALLY haunt my nightmares there were things like rent, work schedules, car payments, hospital bills, health insurance, broken computers and my cat getting fleas. I will say as the years go by a lot of these things are becomig a lot less terrifying, but I couldn't help feeling like a lost child most of the time.

And now here I am, 23, still scared of everything, and about to make some of the biggest decisions of my life. Sadly I'm no longer considered an overachiever by my peers, and there isn't really very much I can say I LOVE anymore. But I'm not going to give up looking for my new passion, I want to feel like a kid again. There were no limits then, nothing to be afraid of but the monsters in your dreams. We could have been ANYTHING our parents told us, anything in the world. Well parents, kiss my ass. I don't want to be anything but happy.