I am having major problems posting anything tonight, so after three tries at posting my thoughts on two of the queries-answers in the Miss Truth Hurts column, I'm about ready to throw in the towel. As quotes insert ascii strings in the midst of text, I have left them off---my apologies for the confusion and my lack of blog experience (I expect there is an answer in the FAQ).
Two queries in particular caught my attention, the first involving straight women and receiving head, the second on straight men and the divide between their fantasy of their partner having sex with another woman, and the reality of their partner having sex with another woman.
Firstly, my experience is that a sizable number of women are ambivalent about receiving head, and a not inconsiderable number find the thought distinctly unpalatable. These are not women who find sex itself gross or eeww-inspiring, and at least some of those I know love **giving** head, but not receiving. When I read the young woman's description of her boyfriends refusals---he was put off by what he called the river, I believe---my first thought was: what an idiot (in line with Miss Truth Hurts), while my second was much less noble, my imagination conjuring said river and the joys to be found therein.
What seems key to me, is that many of these women won't even accept their male partners assurances of desire. Even a guy who loves giving head can find himself defeated by the peculiar relationship women have with their girl parts. Certainly a partner who acts repelled by one's parts---as the boyfriend in this case was---does not help matters, but I've known straight women who played house with lesbians (between a broken marriage and the next man) who would not receive head (in at least one instance, despite giving it herself).
The second issue is more contentious. A significant number of men enjoy the fantasy of watching or participating in sex between women. The reality of the thing is often different. One of the women had a higher libido than her male partner, and suggested taking a female lover. Putting aside the idea that her male partner would not feel jealous of, or threatened by, a woman as her lover to the same degree he would another man (and I do not know if the questioner had suggested that), her male partner rejected the idea---I believe with a Hell No.
So what I wonder is, how do these things work out? My experience being somewhat skewed, I wonder how men see it, honestly. My partner and my g/f and I have been together something like 23 years, and they both still feel a twinge of competition with each other (they were best friends before I arrived). Adding another woman to a straight couple dynamic---especially when that couple is having problems---seems to me to be an invitation for all the ugly parts of multiple-partner relationships (envy, jealousy, deceit, etc).
To be fair, my own prejudice complicates how I see the relationship, and if I look it squarely in the eye, I would be **insanely** threatened by an active male partner. My g/fs husband is a no-show in her intimate, emotional, or social life, but even so, I dislike listening to her talk about her efforts to interest him, and I dread hearing about her successes.
That's that. As I reached this point, I'm going to post and call it good, incoherent though the post may be.
Two queries in particular caught my attention, the first involving straight women and receiving head, the second on straight men and the divide between their fantasy of their partner having sex with another woman, and the reality of their partner having sex with another woman.
Firstly, my experience is that a sizable number of women are ambivalent about receiving head, and a not inconsiderable number find the thought distinctly unpalatable. These are not women who find sex itself gross or eeww-inspiring, and at least some of those I know love **giving** head, but not receiving. When I read the young woman's description of her boyfriends refusals---he was put off by what he called the river, I believe---my first thought was: what an idiot (in line with Miss Truth Hurts), while my second was much less noble, my imagination conjuring said river and the joys to be found therein.
What seems key to me, is that many of these women won't even accept their male partners assurances of desire. Even a guy who loves giving head can find himself defeated by the peculiar relationship women have with their girl parts. Certainly a partner who acts repelled by one's parts---as the boyfriend in this case was---does not help matters, but I've known straight women who played house with lesbians (between a broken marriage and the next man) who would not receive head (in at least one instance, despite giving it herself).
The second issue is more contentious. A significant number of men enjoy the fantasy of watching or participating in sex between women. The reality of the thing is often different. One of the women had a higher libido than her male partner, and suggested taking a female lover. Putting aside the idea that her male partner would not feel jealous of, or threatened by, a woman as her lover to the same degree he would another man (and I do not know if the questioner had suggested that), her male partner rejected the idea---I believe with a Hell No.
So what I wonder is, how do these things work out? My experience being somewhat skewed, I wonder how men see it, honestly. My partner and my g/f and I have been together something like 23 years, and they both still feel a twinge of competition with each other (they were best friends before I arrived). Adding another woman to a straight couple dynamic---especially when that couple is having problems---seems to me to be an invitation for all the ugly parts of multiple-partner relationships (envy, jealousy, deceit, etc).
To be fair, my own prejudice complicates how I see the relationship, and if I look it squarely in the eye, I would be **insanely** threatened by an active male partner. My g/fs husband is a no-show in her intimate, emotional, or social life, but even so, I dislike listening to her talk about her efforts to interest him, and I dread hearing about her successes.
That's that. As I reached this point, I'm going to post and call it good, incoherent though the post may be.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Its just been rough... and anything sexual is not so appetizing.