carryavengeance

well i scraped some money together to renew my membership to this site...

i just wish i could find a way to stop all the pain in my life...i have no friends to comfort me...susan was all i had...my cousin who is more like a lil brother lives 300 miles away & he is too poor to afford a phone or internet so i really dont have contact to him unless i can go home on the weekend...problem is that im too poor to afford a trip that long...

i hate this constant downsloping bullshit...life seems like it's not gonna turn up & look better...everyone says it's gonna look up & ill get over it but it's just not fuckin happening...life turns up just a lil bit at a time but over the past 3 years those lil moments dont seem to last longer than 5 minutes...

i dont have no shoulders to cry on when i want to cry...no one to comfort my pain anymore...all that was once susan's place in my life...she used to be there for me but after gettin into a relationship with her & now the break up, she has turned her back on all that...she is no longer the shoulder or the comforter

i just want to give up life...i feel like im goin thru hell to & ending of just more hell...fuck life...all this is bullshit