carpe_diem

Everything is actually shit. Im in the worse mood ever. Saw my ex-gf yesterday, i had a lot of stuff i wanted to say mostly on the grounds that i kinda had to or i would have gone mad wondering if it would have made a difference to anything or not.

Love is actually bollocks. I met a girl that i actually thought i would spend my life with. Every time i think about the future, she is there. All my plans are with her in mind.But thats just how things are i guess. I wish i could not actually think abut it for a while. I know i need to move on, but what the hell am i supposed to do. I cant talk to women, i never could. I jusst feel lonely as hell. I need to have my mind taken off of it all day long. I hate going to bed. I only sleep when i just cant keep awake any longer because all i want to do when i get into bed is call her. I know it will do me no good so i dont. I know if i ring her i will just make her angry with me, or get told a load of stuff i dont want to know.

When the hell does this go away? i need to meet people. I just need someone to sit with and talk about and hug. I dont actually remember my last hug from anyone other than my ex and that is not a joke. The last time i hugged anyone was my ex was yesterday, and before that i had gone a month withou one. As it is i am stuck at uni with people who just make me think about it, or at home with my parents where i have nothing to do BUT think about it.

Quite looking forward to blissfull oblivion atm