So I'm officially on hiatus from my job. Long story short, I called in to quit, they asked me to reconsider because I am apparently a really good server and I told them I'd get back to them. I think I am completely done there though. Being this stressed out isn't worth the three dollar tips I get from the tables I have. Panic attacks every day before work is not something I want to impose on myself or anyone else for that matter. I'm thinking of applying to verizon. Being a phone peddler can't be THAT bad right?
I've been in a bloody awful mood lately. One of my friends has been doing some shit that makes me uncomfortable. When she asks me to call her or to hang out, I just avoid her. I don't know what else to do. It's hard to know that I'm losing one of my best friends to something addictive, but I've tried so hard to just make her realize what she's doing to herself that it's futile. All we ever do is fight because when I talk to her she's usually messed up. When we talk, she yells at me and tells me how what I feel is wrong. I don't need that negativity around me at all. It's not something I want to expose myself to any longer. I've got enough to worry about without something like that bringing me down. I will always always love the girl. I will always support her and be her friend, but I cannot let myself get caught up in her vices and her anger. She knows if she needs someone I'll always be there...and when she finally wants to get clean, I'll be there too...but for right now, I've babysat as much as I can without losing my sanity.
I keep calling this kid that I met at the bar one night accidentally. I feel bad cos I don't ever talk. I just hang up too. He probably thinks he has a stalker LOL!
I need to do a new SG shoot soon! I have some really really cute ideas I just need to actually get off my ass and work them all out. I've messaged Alissa Brunelli. And I've been talking to a few other awesome photogs to see if I can't get something good in the works.
I'm not sure what to do about Buffalo now, I don't think I will really have the money to travel there. I want to do the movie but the comphensation is shit and I'm literally going to be broke once I pay my bills for next month before I leave. Sigh.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I went to warped tour in pittsburgh at the beginning of this month. It was pretty fun. I got to hang out with sXe Kenny which was AMAZING. Meeting him was one of the top five most awesome things ever I think. We hung out at the peta2 tent for a while and then layed together in the grass most of the day. It was lovely. After Kenny left, I hung out with Valencia for a little bit. I'll have to upload the pic of me and Shane from Valencia. It's pretty hawt. Lol. It's weird, people totally recognized me from myspace. It made me laugh. I also had hoardes of 16 year old kids hitting on me. Damn my asian genes for making me look so fucking young!
Oh yeah! I've decided today that I want to move to Japan. Okinawa, wherever. Just give me Japanese culture and all things kawaii! Give me loose socks and Hello Kitty! Haha!
I've come to realize that my epiphany about my modeling is completely wrong. I'm taking steps to fix it. I'm also emailing FUSEtv to make sure I can still send in a tape. I'm a huge slacker but they said in the email they sent me after I sent in my headshots and a bio that I could send a vid in anytime.
Anyway, I'm off to go listen to Gorilla Biscuits or Spazz or something. I'm in one of those moods.
Kisses,
xoxoxox
I've been in a bloody awful mood lately. One of my friends has been doing some shit that makes me uncomfortable. When she asks me to call her or to hang out, I just avoid her. I don't know what else to do. It's hard to know that I'm losing one of my best friends to something addictive, but I've tried so hard to just make her realize what she's doing to herself that it's futile. All we ever do is fight because when I talk to her she's usually messed up. When we talk, she yells at me and tells me how what I feel is wrong. I don't need that negativity around me at all. It's not something I want to expose myself to any longer. I've got enough to worry about without something like that bringing me down. I will always always love the girl. I will always support her and be her friend, but I cannot let myself get caught up in her vices and her anger. She knows if she needs someone I'll always be there...and when she finally wants to get clean, I'll be there too...but for right now, I've babysat as much as I can without losing my sanity.
I keep calling this kid that I met at the bar one night accidentally. I feel bad cos I don't ever talk. I just hang up too. He probably thinks he has a stalker LOL!
I need to do a new SG shoot soon! I have some really really cute ideas I just need to actually get off my ass and work them all out. I've messaged Alissa Brunelli. And I've been talking to a few other awesome photogs to see if I can't get something good in the works.
I'm not sure what to do about Buffalo now, I don't think I will really have the money to travel there. I want to do the movie but the comphensation is shit and I'm literally going to be broke once I pay my bills for next month before I leave. Sigh.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I went to warped tour in pittsburgh at the beginning of this month. It was pretty fun. I got to hang out with sXe Kenny which was AMAZING. Meeting him was one of the top five most awesome things ever I think. We hung out at the peta2 tent for a while and then layed together in the grass most of the day. It was lovely. After Kenny left, I hung out with Valencia for a little bit. I'll have to upload the pic of me and Shane from Valencia. It's pretty hawt. Lol. It's weird, people totally recognized me from myspace. It made me laugh. I also had hoardes of 16 year old kids hitting on me. Damn my asian genes for making me look so fucking young!
Oh yeah! I've decided today that I want to move to Japan. Okinawa, wherever. Just give me Japanese culture and all things kawaii! Give me loose socks and Hello Kitty! Haha!
I've come to realize that my epiphany about my modeling is completely wrong. I'm taking steps to fix it. I'm also emailing FUSEtv to make sure I can still send in a tape. I'm a huge slacker but they said in the email they sent me after I sent in my headshots and a bio that I could send a vid in anytime.
Anyway, I'm off to go listen to Gorilla Biscuits or Spazz or something. I'm in one of those moods.
Kisses,
xoxoxox
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
As far as doing a set, have you considered doing a zombie set? It seems like it would be right up your alley.
Japan would be fun although I don't know about moving there. I'm not sure if I could learn the language and make it worthwhile, although the immersion would help a lot.