carnaldiem

no one reads this one, maybe i can be more free in this one to say certain things rather than in other places. but then again, other places i can make things far more private. that's what i should start doing. yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

i havent' said much in a while. so i'll post this, and then be done with it.


Meet my wife.
I adopted her.
She never knew,
Until I told her.
Like a fury from above,
And a fire from below,
She halted everything.
My life was put on pause,
When the wooden stars screeched,
And all I saw was her
Cradled in my arms,
So...
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wild things happen when you become invisible.
i know,
i am,
and i've seen.
people forget you're there,
and lose all inhibitions,
as soon as you blend in with the wall.
all emotions pour out,
like wine from a bottle,
they hit,
they cry,
they love,
they fuck.
and in the end,
no one is satisfied.
and there was no point to any of it....
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things went good. in fact, they went absolutly fantastic. i was sad to go though. but then again, im always sad to have to leave him. i hope she agrees to something though. i hope she says yes. i dont know if she will. i'll figure something out though, i always do.

i'm supposed to go on a real date this sunday. i really dont know what to expect. i guess the best kind of prize is a SURPRISE! bitches. hahaha!! yeah, i have a feeling it'll all be good though. i trust myself enough not to fuck this up...i hope...ahaha!

i love wearing lipstick, it makes me feel pretty. and i like wearing eyeliner, makes my eyes look very incredible. i love myself. i am so beautiful!! if i could, i'd make a double of myself and have savage sex with myself, because i love myself that damn much!!

dig those noodles fool!

hahahahaha!! :-D

anyways,

so like, im in a good mood. well, kind of. im a bit sleepy, but that's an aside. there's alot more going on in my head, but like, yeah, i dunno what else to say, i dont think i'll share all of this here. elsewhere i will though. he'll follow the white rabbit into its hole...

i hate it when a certain character in my life disappoints me, and it doesn't surprise me. *sigh* that stupid bastard. but ah well, moving on...i wish i could spend more time with certain people in my life. i wish i could see more of them. but some things are limited and stunted, which makes the moments together all the sweeter...like ambrosia...im tired. i have...
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I surprise myself sometimes. like right now, im so hardcore about this stupid project. i'm trying so damn hard, and like, i really want to do good in school this time. its only 18 months, so i should be able to do good. i really want to do so damn good, that its gonna hurt!! i'm gonna do good! im gonnd do so damn good!...
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the sleep deprivation is killing me. so im gonna go to bed. i love you all. ♥