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carnalascetic

San Luis Obispo, CA

Member Since 2004

Followers 11 Following 20

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Wednesday Apr 26, 2006

Apr 25, 2006
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I'm Thirty. Hmmmm. Whatever. I just got done with a "quick" 20 minute cardio session. I think I might vomit when I'm done typing this. Bleh. Anyone here remember or hear of the Schwinn Airdyne?
I used to have one of these years ago. My Mom got one when she owned a bicycle shop in Morro Bay. She must have gotten it in the early 80's. The thing was a hulking monstrosity. Heavy and awkward. An all-around pain in the ass to move. It utilizes both the upper and lower body so it can be a good work out, regardless.

I cannot speak for the female portion of the population but as a man I can speak this truth: The airdyne is a mortal enemy of testicles . The seat is designed just right so you are constantly sliding forward and balancing your whole bodyweight on your gonads. You slide yourself backwards and two minutes later you realize you are once again tottering on your cobblers again.

I killed the massive beast one sunny San Luis Obispo afternoon. I broke the left hand connecting arm on the pedal drive assembly. It had served it's purpose. Part by part it was removed from the house over the next few weeks. I really didn't care if I ever saw an Airdyne ever again.

A couple of weeks ago, my buddy Sean sends me nothing short of one thousand text messages, a few messages on myspace and one hundred fifty-six emails asking me if I want an exercise bike with "digital readout."
"Digital readout?" I thought to myself. "Well, if it's for free It's got to be worth it, right?" While debated quickly with myself, Sean had sent me two hundred forty seven more text messages. I eventually responded to him the next day. I'm quick like that, what can I say? Well..Sean showed up at my house to drop my new exercise bike with "digital readout"------>:



Hahahah. Let the damage to the orchis begin!

Hey Kids! Can you count all the Marlboro packs?


Carl has enough Marlboro Miles to buy a house.

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