carmina

Ok, to elaborate on this rudderless thing.

I have no inspiration right now. Nothing. I havnt had a cello lesson in months, havnt taken a photo in months, havent written anything since the insane school app deadline fiasco.

Since I've committed to staying I've launched into this 'what does it all mean' crapola tangent.

And what is going to make me happy anyway? Hmm, running my own business would do it. Doing what? Something creative. Whats creative that there's a decent demand for that I'm capable of doing? Good question.

I love my boyfreind, but we're in differnt books in different libraries when it comes to musical or creative things. Its wierd not being able to brainstorm projects together or get neat ideas and input from him. Hes totally different from my typical boy choice that way. Of course, hes a keeper, it just means i have to be so much more 'out there' on my own. While being all lovey dovey i've got to be all savagely independant at the same time, and maybe not hang out as much. I dont know. jesus.

thanks for hearing the rant there.

ciao for now!