captspaz

So... one of my best friends killed herself and didn't even tell me she was going to do it... I feel so helpless... I feel like I should have seen it coming... I feel so lost... She always came to me with everything I thought... I love her so much, I just can't believe she would do that... *sigh* Alicia never really was very stable though... but I thought she was at least stable enough to stay alive. I just keep thinking about all the good times we had, and how we'll never have anymore... sneaking off to the meat market to buy cigarettes even though neither of us smoked... getting caught sneaking out to the park past midnight... running through neighbors backyards and jumping fences to get away from the vicious dog chasing us *sigh* so many good times I'll never get to relive... *cries* I just want someone to hold me right now... I can't believe she's gone...