Strange day...woke up this morning to find that a guy I work with shot himself at work today. Its wierd, never thought something like that would happen, not to me. It had me tinking back to that chill night in black september...the one where I saved the ex's life for reasons I still can't figure out, I guess it was because I didn't want my daughter to see somebodys brains get splattered all over the wall let alone her own mother. Part of it was I didn't want to see my daughter get shot either and was afraid she(the bitch) would quite possibly turn the gun on someone else
Still it was quite curious, I never hated her(the wretched one) more in my life. I mean if there was ever a single moment in my life where I really truly hated somebody it was that moment. I was so full of hate and yet there I was, risking my own life to save hers. Quite curious as I am sure that i someone offered her a million dollars to save mine at that moment or this one she would more than likely watch me die just for the sheer joy.
I always find myself in these strange moments, but perhaps I just think too much.
I have been very angry lately very angry in deed. I find myself enraged by the slightest provocation, not sure why not much has changed maybe I'm just taking notice to things more, or perhaps it is just another leg of this long fucked up road I find myself traveling down. Who really knows???
Songs of the day:
Alkaline Trio- Goodbye forever
"Cannot get at your eyes, the nature of this sickness,
A miracle that your alive, stuck to the roof of my mouth with a staple.
Remember last april, when we saw US maple, SOMEHOW THE SINGER SHOWED THE FIRESIDE EXACTLY HOW I FEEL.
AND WE SAY GOODBYE, AND GO UNDERGROUND, OR UP TOWARDS THE SKY, UP IN SMOKE, BURNT DOWN TO SIZE, AT LEAST WE'RE STILL FREINDS, AT LEAST WE'RE STILL ALIVE!
Minor Threat- look back and laugh
"Mr. President, go away
Come back and fuck with us some other day
Mr. Feelings, run and hide
You have no right to what you feel inside
Motherfuckers, quick to kiss
Talk your shit, but don't fuck with this
All I want to know is
Am I holding on? Am I moving on?
What can we do, what can we do?"
Still it was quite curious, I never hated her(the wretched one) more in my life. I mean if there was ever a single moment in my life where I really truly hated somebody it was that moment. I was so full of hate and yet there I was, risking my own life to save hers. Quite curious as I am sure that i someone offered her a million dollars to save mine at that moment or this one she would more than likely watch me die just for the sheer joy.
I always find myself in these strange moments, but perhaps I just think too much.
I have been very angry lately very angry in deed. I find myself enraged by the slightest provocation, not sure why not much has changed maybe I'm just taking notice to things more, or perhaps it is just another leg of this long fucked up road I find myself traveling down. Who really knows???
Songs of the day:
Alkaline Trio- Goodbye forever
"Cannot get at your eyes, the nature of this sickness,
A miracle that your alive, stuck to the roof of my mouth with a staple.
Remember last april, when we saw US maple, SOMEHOW THE SINGER SHOWED THE FIRESIDE EXACTLY HOW I FEEL.
AND WE SAY GOODBYE, AND GO UNDERGROUND, OR UP TOWARDS THE SKY, UP IN SMOKE, BURNT DOWN TO SIZE, AT LEAST WE'RE STILL FREINDS, AT LEAST WE'RE STILL ALIVE!
Minor Threat- look back and laugh
"Mr. President, go away
Come back and fuck with us some other day
Mr. Feelings, run and hide
You have no right to what you feel inside
Motherfuckers, quick to kiss
Talk your shit, but don't fuck with this
All I want to know is
Am I holding on? Am I moving on?
What can we do, what can we do?"
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
samanthakayne:
lookin' like tonight or tomorrow? though... i can just call and harrass you either day, so i guess i gots no reason to sweat it...
thora:
Hmm... I've never heard that one, but both/all genders have elements of the other/s, right? So I guess it would depend on the individual. There are fathers with lots of yin, and conversely, mothers with a great deal of yang. "Man" and "woman" are so far from static, esp. today when fewer need to hide in a closet (although we are returning to the EXTREMEly patriarchal). I would think that these elements play an important role in the validity of that premise.