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captknutz

Co springs

Member Since 2004

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Wednesday Oct 17, 2007

Oct 16, 2007
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"Down and Out"

So, I've come again to the point where I am poor again. Not really poor, not as poor as I have been before, but poor enough to where I'm worried about it a lot. Poor enough to where money kind of matters to me again. There are several things I only care about when I don't have them. One of those things is money, others on the list are sex, food, air, and cigarettes. The things I only worry about when I don't have them.

And I know how this happened, this happened, because I am terrible with money, this happened because I make bad decisions. I've come to the point where I keep going into my overdraft every damn paycheck, and it's a hole I can't seem to get myself out of. I keep trying, and I keep getting to the poitn where I possibly could go three weeks without tapping into my overdraft, but then something happens, some small catastrophe that requires me to spend money, money I never have. I would've been able not to go into it this pay period, but, an unexpected neccesary expense came up today and now, I'll be broke again by tomorrow after just getting paid yesterday.

What I need to get out of this is just some extra cash, but my job is so damn demanding that's easier said than done. I keep wishing there was some damn way to make a little extra cash that wouldn't take up a substantial amount of free time(this is another thing I don't have). But, as far as money there are no quick fixes, not for me, the only way to make money for me is through hard work. And I'm afraid I just dont have the time for that after the whole working thriteen hour days four to five days a week and being a single father thing, not to mention the extra time I have to put into my damn job.

In other news the thing with the penpal is still going well except for the fact that I am still scheduled to go to Iraq right when she gets back. I keep hoping that will change, because I relaly don't want to go on that trip, and the penpal thing is only the tip o th iceberg on reasons I don't want to go. The only reason I could think of for going is the extra money which I could use, but I don't like money that much, not to miss out on yet another large portion of my life, not to miss out on that much time with the kids, not enough to put myself through that whole thing all over again. But, the whole thing is really out of my hands, so debating it at this point is pretty well pointless

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