captblacktoe

so fuck all the meloncholy bullshit shit. any mother fucker who insults you day in and out, who blames you for shit in your past that you have already made amends with, who dares to fuck you for something that they do everyday, can take their fucking self rightiousness shape that shbit into a bloody perfect crown and fucking shove it up their god damn asses. i can't take the bullshit anymore. look at yourself before you balme me for one more thing. i am not the reason you hate yourself and abuse your body you did that shit for twenty one years before you started anything with me, i want to set up video cameras and watch our life, i am ready and have been ready to confront myself on the shit i pull, i am not perfect and i understand that, now look at yourself for one piece of shit minute, i have never swore you up and down never called you the names i hear everyday, i have never taken your past and ass fucked you until you would rather stand for life then dare sit down in my presence. here is the most i have said for myself in three years. you have pushed my away for so long i can't even remember the body i used to read like brail until i knew every crevice. you hid our passion somewhere i could never find. don't blame me for our sex life you can't stand the idea of seeing yourself you sure as hell haven't let me look at you. i hate my life again because of you, it took me twenty four fucking years of self abuse and suicide attempts to realize i like life, i forgave myself for every horrible thing i have done finally embraced the no regrets outlook, not just said i have no regrets like some fucking asshole with too much bravado to take responsiblity for his actions, but really look back and say i regret nothing i may feel bad but without every action i went through i would not be who i was when we meet, i like'd him now you have crushed that taken the person and reminded him how fucking heartless he was nine years ago, how he had no love so he fucked alot of girls hoping someone would touch him and make him feel happy fo rone breif moment, took that and called him a whore called him a selfish bastard. well fuck you. thats the first time ever i have said anything like that fuck you. hopefully you know i mean it cause i saved it up so long. i thought you deserved nothing but respect and understand that i have not always given it to you, and i hate myself for things i have said or taken out on you but i have treated you better then 98% of the assholes outthere and 100% better than everyone you have ever met. fuck this i am so goddamn tired from all this shit i need a drink and a bed,