Faced with rampant crime at the her highness's Royal Parks, London formed an elite law enforcement squad called the Park Police. In the ongoing effort to keep up with the Forces of Evil's knack for coming up with dastardly and clever ways to avoid capture, they sealed their greatest minds in a secret bunker two miles below the surface of the earth. Their task: Find a way to end park crime once and for all.
They triumphantly emerged three days later with an idea that would make everybody proud. Having identified the officers' bikes as the potential problem, they would be replaced by rollerblades. Four brave officers were selected from a pool of volunteers and sent to Britain's greatest Rollerblading training academy.
Once on the field, the program was a smashing success. The world's greatest criminal masterminds called an emergency summit to deal with their new threat. How could they escape the Royal Parks Constabulary Alternative Transportation Unit? With the speed of demons and acrobatic exploits of ninjas, litterers and vandals stood no chance of getting away with their petty park crimes.
But as was bound to happen, it didn't take long for criminals to get back ahead of the curve, and the Rollerblading cops met their match: grass.
"It didn't work. The minute people realised they were being chased they would switch to a soft surface", admitted Superintendent Derek Pollock.
One can only hope that the stymied cops at least had the pressence of mind to utilize the numerous children scurrying around, point at the fleeing hoodlum across the grass field, and shout "Get them, my pretties!" After all, they have those weird shoes with the wheels that pop out. Inspector Gadjet, like most good Sci-Fi, is proving to be prophetic.
As great an idea as Project Rollerblade was, the program didn't win the award for the best use of tax revenue. That honor has to go to New Zealand for their $420,000 outhouse, complete with a hole in the ground, the king's throneroom was never finer.
Governments aren't the only big spenders, as George Beane from Palmdale was to discover. His purchase of four burgers from Burger King burned him for $4334.33. After double-checking the painted advertisement on their window, he asked "are you sure about that?"
When it comes to fast food, always pay cash. Credit and debit cards just aren't worth the hassle. Wait a second... this just in... so scratch that.
That feisty schmuck is just lucky he didn't mess with the wrong dude. This 82 year old badass would have fucked him up. He held a gator at bay with a broom, before squirting it with something that they hate more than anything else in the world: water.
They triumphantly emerged three days later with an idea that would make everybody proud. Having identified the officers' bikes as the potential problem, they would be replaced by rollerblades. Four brave officers were selected from a pool of volunteers and sent to Britain's greatest Rollerblading training academy.
Once on the field, the program was a smashing success. The world's greatest criminal masterminds called an emergency summit to deal with their new threat. How could they escape the Royal Parks Constabulary Alternative Transportation Unit? With the speed of demons and acrobatic exploits of ninjas, litterers and vandals stood no chance of getting away with their petty park crimes.
But as was bound to happen, it didn't take long for criminals to get back ahead of the curve, and the Rollerblading cops met their match: grass.
"It didn't work. The minute people realised they were being chased they would switch to a soft surface", admitted Superintendent Derek Pollock.
One can only hope that the stymied cops at least had the pressence of mind to utilize the numerous children scurrying around, point at the fleeing hoodlum across the grass field, and shout "Get them, my pretties!" After all, they have those weird shoes with the wheels that pop out. Inspector Gadjet, like most good Sci-Fi, is proving to be prophetic.
As great an idea as Project Rollerblade was, the program didn't win the award for the best use of tax revenue. That honor has to go to New Zealand for their $420,000 outhouse, complete with a hole in the ground, the king's throneroom was never finer.
Governments aren't the only big spenders, as George Beane from Palmdale was to discover. His purchase of four burgers from Burger King burned him for $4334.33. After double-checking the painted advertisement on their window, he asked "are you sure about that?"
When it comes to fast food, always pay cash. Credit and debit cards just aren't worth the hassle. Wait a second... this just in... so scratch that.
That feisty schmuck is just lucky he didn't mess with the wrong dude. This 82 year old badass would have fucked him up. He held a gator at bay with a broom, before squirting it with something that they hate more than anything else in the world: water.
inov8ve:
thats an excellent story. 