captainchemistry

I had a panic attack today. I felt like i was going to have a seizure.
I've been stressing out recently about having something to do every night. I'm the kind of guy who does not like to be alone. I went up to the Pharmacy to find out what my friend Kaitlyn was doing at work.. well more accurately after work, and that's when it happened... I don't like being unsure about what is going to happen..

I knew that i should probably go home seeing as how i felt like my airway was closing up... but i really wanted to go out and get a drink... that scares me a little bit.

I want to meet someone. I don't like being alone. This leads to the next thing that I've been thinking a lot about.

Am i boring? I've been trying my whole life to be someone interesting and attractive but at this point in my life i don't think I'm anymore interesting than i was at this point last year, or the year before. I hate this feeling. In my head i don't see any reason that anyone would want me. Sure, there's plenty of good things about me: but at this point none of them make sense to me.

I feel like I'm slipping into a state of mediocrity. i refuse to let myself be a nothing... I REFUSE!

I'm about to move and start over in a totally different environment and i don't want to take any of this with me. I can't help it. It's my brain. It's like it's set up to sabotage me...

I want friends!!!
I want a girl on my arm!!!
I want the world and i Shall Have it~!