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captain_deez

yourlifeisgonnabeapainintheassville

Member Since 2002

Followers 14 Following 6

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Monday May 19, 2003

May 18, 2003
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I told her last night that I would leave today if she wanted me to and that I deserved at least one night to ask questions about this and try and get a feel for the seriousness of what is going on.

So we calmly talked about what was going on and what could possibly make it better. A few things I learn:

- she does not "feel" for our daughter
- she is jealous of our daughter, "she gets all of my attention"
- she wants to be alone
- she wants to make new friends
- she has considered seeing other people
- she is considering open marriage
- she feels that I am too angry of a person for her

I want her to be part of our daughters life, we chose to have her. I try to give her space, she is her own person so I do not tell her what to do and such. It feels like the new friends she wants are possible suitors. I feel like she is taking away any chance for me to be the one that dates her.

Angry....no. Annoyed...yes. Hurt....yes. Yelled out the window at the driver that almost killed us b/c he had to be first....yes. Angry....no. Do we fight and yell at EACHOTHER...yes. Should we...no Angry...no.

She went to sleep at 10pm last night, me on the couch.
So as the night was going on and I was feeling the weight of this I started crying. At 1am I couldn't deal with it any more busted in the bedroom sobbing like a baby. I told her how much I love her and that I am nothing without her. I will not let this just happpen and be over, I need her too damn much. (not in the Ozzy/Sharron way)

She let me in bed and I fell asleep crying as I held her as tight as I could to let her know I would not let go of her. This morning she told me To spend the day with Emily and have her stay at my parents tonight. That we will be together tonight and talk more.

I love her dearly. She really is a great person, better than I am. I know the picture that I paint is of a bitch but she is not, she is a great girl. I just hope she still loves me.

Thank you to everyone who offered advice and kind words yesterday I am very greatful to have such a wonderful group of people around me. Thank you.

-deez-
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
tadzi:
i think vixen pretty much summed it up, and like i said, its always worth it if the love is there. the only other advice i can give is try not to be too ubiquitous.

and id be all up for hangin out at some point in the near future. im not a beer drinker, but that doesnt mean i cant chill. IM me on aim or email me or somethin
May 19, 2003
admitourmistakes:
Hey, sorry I haven't been around much... It looks like you could use some help. I will try in any way possible, so just let me know OK? You can come over anytime you want...
Give me an e-mail and I'll give you my #. You can call and cry anytime...
Shan*
Yeah, I am in the Army, silly
May 19, 2003

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