lately i've been so angry. i really don't know why. i used to be a real hateful bitter asshole, and i feel like i'm falling back into that. it's like watching poision flow through veins, i can't stop it, no matter how much i fight it. it just keep progressing. maybe i'll just cut the arm off before my heart turns black.
i hate feeling like i have to base everything on the completion of one project. like i have to put posative emotion, put life on hold till it's completeed. then i can breath, then i can rest, then i can relax, then i can smile. that's not fair. i desperatly need that now. but there's no time for that. only time to frown, and sit at my desk, having to be there. sleeping at my desk because i can't handle traffic anymore. i can't handle people anymore.
i wish i could figure out exactly what's driving me mad so that i can fix it, but i still can't put my finger on it.
get this, how's this for irony. a soon as i have time to actually rest, i'll be stressing trying to find an apartment. go life.
i just need to get off one day around 6, go home, sleep allllll day, all day in bed, and not have to wake up at any given time.
i went and saw atmosphere last night, and half the time i was up on the roof. couldn't handle the people.
went to ink slingers ball this weekend and finally got my nosferatu tattoo on my chest by benjamin moss. it looks great. i'm so happy with it. not only am i happy with the tattoo, but talking to benjamin and yushi from apocalypse, and watching him tattoo for hours till my neck was screaming in pain from staring down,, i knew it was time to pick up the gun again. when i was 16 i gave myself a koi fish on my leg. showing that to benjamin, and a drawing i'd done, i felt nothing but encouragement. i'm going to order a gun, and and power supply and get started again, my legs are my practice space, i will just black them out eventually. it feels great to have something like this to look foreward to. even if i don't end up doing it as a career, i can touch up my exicting tattoos, tattoo my friends, or do it every now and then for extra cash. now i just need to get started,.
i hate feeling like i have to base everything on the completion of one project. like i have to put posative emotion, put life on hold till it's completeed. then i can breath, then i can rest, then i can relax, then i can smile. that's not fair. i desperatly need that now. but there's no time for that. only time to frown, and sit at my desk, having to be there. sleeping at my desk because i can't handle traffic anymore. i can't handle people anymore.
i wish i could figure out exactly what's driving me mad so that i can fix it, but i still can't put my finger on it.
get this, how's this for irony. a soon as i have time to actually rest, i'll be stressing trying to find an apartment. go life.
i just need to get off one day around 6, go home, sleep allllll day, all day in bed, and not have to wake up at any given time.
i went and saw atmosphere last night, and half the time i was up on the roof. couldn't handle the people.
went to ink slingers ball this weekend and finally got my nosferatu tattoo on my chest by benjamin moss. it looks great. i'm so happy with it. not only am i happy with the tattoo, but talking to benjamin and yushi from apocalypse, and watching him tattoo for hours till my neck was screaming in pain from staring down,, i knew it was time to pick up the gun again. when i was 16 i gave myself a koi fish on my leg. showing that to benjamin, and a drawing i'd done, i felt nothing but encouragement. i'm going to order a gun, and and power supply and get started again, my legs are my practice space, i will just black them out eventually. it feels great to have something like this to look foreward to. even if i don't end up doing it as a career, i can touch up my exicting tattoos, tattoo my friends, or do it every now and then for extra cash. now i just need to get started,.
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I'd say someone had a similiar idea.