Ok I've been really wierded out with my behavior lately. Really, REALLY, weirded out. My emotions have not only developed in unexpected ways, but also in surprising ways as well.
It's odd. I've been saying,"What the hell?!", to myself all week. I'll explain.
For those of you who do not know, I broke up with my girlfriend Monday. Not entirely sure whym bt it's something like this:
She believes I deserve this, this, and that.
She can't give me this, this , and that. She wants to, but she has other stuff she wants more.
I am fine not dating another girl (not commitment, just I see no reason to)
She can't promise the same because she's afraid she may regret the promise.
Fair enough, if it's not working it's not working.
But here's my thing. I have cared for this girl more than any of the others. I have invested more into her than the others. She has been involved more in my personal life than the others( friends, family, parents....). And it was the "healthiest", and most "normal" experience to date.
So why am I fine?
I cried that day, and when I think how I'll miss her and never see her again, it's sad. But that's it. I'm content. I'm not bitter, or angry. I don't hate her. I don't blame myself. I don't regret any of it. I'm not depressed, upset, or confused at all. My buddy Joe says it's cause I'm growing up. Is that it?
I cam to the conclusion about a year ago that True Love and being ready for it is 100% Logic.
What I mean is this. You are destined to meet someone and finish life with them. What is amazing is how so many people forget or over look the obvious. If you are suppose to meet a girl/guy and then your done with the search....then Logic dictates that you are SUPPOSED to fail every single god damn time till then.
It's like going fishing to get one fish. You start, you miss, you miss again, you fail a bunch of different ways. Then you catch the fish. It's the right fish. You stop searching. The end. You got what you came for and you had to miss a bunch to get it.
I am honestly fine. It's wierd. I feel so ok I'm waiting for my bubble to pop. So this is what it's like huh? I've never been in a healthy relationship before. Apparently even the bad stuff is good. Maybe its me but I don't see it. Two days after goodbye I'm back. I'm ok.
You know that look a dog gets when he gets on the couch? That look where he's realizing how comfortable he is but he's still looking around wondering why no one's kicking him off? I feel like that. Too good to be true.
No drama, no moving out, no phone calls, no jealousy, just a normal, you go your way I'll go mine breakup.
Maybe I'm to Nonchalant. Maybe it's from not feeling like I NEED anyone to be complete. Maybe it's cuz I'm not looking for someone special but I won't pass up someone special if I see her. I don't know but..........I think I'm gonna like this new plateu I've entered.
It's odd. I've been saying,"What the hell?!", to myself all week. I'll explain.
For those of you who do not know, I broke up with my girlfriend Monday. Not entirely sure whym bt it's something like this:
She believes I deserve this, this, and that.
She can't give me this, this , and that. She wants to, but she has other stuff she wants more.
I am fine not dating another girl (not commitment, just I see no reason to)
She can't promise the same because she's afraid she may regret the promise.
Fair enough, if it's not working it's not working.
But here's my thing. I have cared for this girl more than any of the others. I have invested more into her than the others. She has been involved more in my personal life than the others( friends, family, parents....). And it was the "healthiest", and most "normal" experience to date.
So why am I fine?
I cried that day, and when I think how I'll miss her and never see her again, it's sad. But that's it. I'm content. I'm not bitter, or angry. I don't hate her. I don't blame myself. I don't regret any of it. I'm not depressed, upset, or confused at all. My buddy Joe says it's cause I'm growing up. Is that it?
I cam to the conclusion about a year ago that True Love and being ready for it is 100% Logic.
What I mean is this. You are destined to meet someone and finish life with them. What is amazing is how so many people forget or over look the obvious. If you are suppose to meet a girl/guy and then your done with the search....then Logic dictates that you are SUPPOSED to fail every single god damn time till then.
It's like going fishing to get one fish. You start, you miss, you miss again, you fail a bunch of different ways. Then you catch the fish. It's the right fish. You stop searching. The end. You got what you came for and you had to miss a bunch to get it.
I am honestly fine. It's wierd. I feel so ok I'm waiting for my bubble to pop. So this is what it's like huh? I've never been in a healthy relationship before. Apparently even the bad stuff is good. Maybe its me but I don't see it. Two days after goodbye I'm back. I'm ok.
You know that look a dog gets when he gets on the couch? That look where he's realizing how comfortable he is but he's still looking around wondering why no one's kicking him off? I feel like that. Too good to be true.
No drama, no moving out, no phone calls, no jealousy, just a normal, you go your way I'll go mine breakup.
Maybe I'm to Nonchalant. Maybe it's from not feeling like I NEED anyone to be complete. Maybe it's cuz I'm not looking for someone special but I won't pass up someone special if I see her. I don't know but..........I think I'm gonna like this new plateu I've entered.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
thetotalm:
Hey I so didn't know about Sigar. I hadn't been there yet, and was just going on the way someone told it to me....you know that phonetically stuff. So I wasn't trying to sound like a "poser" I honetly just had no fucking clue. 
cap:
lol Who said u were a poser?