I'm fairly positive one day I'll feel less alone.
I imagine myself with a guy (extremely cute, sweet, and funny of course) all cuddled up and watching movies and eating Chinese food. For reasons I don't understand, Chinese take-out is like the epitome of romance. My loneliness is directly related to my relationship status. I've realized this. I also know that a lot of people think it signifies weakness or something. "Be happy with just yourself!" "Make more friends!" "You don't need a guy!" All of this is true and good advice. I am very happy with myself, honestly. Two jobs, living alone, fantastic taste in books and music and film?? I'm rad. Couldn't love myself more. I have...friends. Okay, I could probably stand to make more friends. I just don't really do that whole "kinda-friends-but-really-acquaintances" thing very well. I like to have my best friends or nothing. As for the "you don't need a guy" claim? Well, it's true that I don't NEED one. But I'd super like one.
I'm just a relationship person. I like having someone to talk to every night. If only to be able to say weird little details of my day. Like I woke up near screaming. Weird nap time dream. And no one who will listen. Boyfriends have to listen to that shit. That's love. Other people... well they don't have to. And feeling like I can't share small details makes me feel more alone than anything.
I really hope I'm not alone in this. I'm imagining someone reading this and just going "this girl is so lame! she should just go talk to people, problem solved!" It's not that easy, hypothetical person getting all critical about my life!
Every paragraph has started with "I." Ugh. I know this is a blog and people say to write about what you know... but do I only know about myself?? No. I am way more interesting than that. But I don't know how to casually segue into "so Palestine these days..." or "so I was jamming the Kinks..." or anything super interesting. Writing a blog is like holding a conversation but you're just assuming the other participant's questions or interests. I don't really know what people are interested in, I guess. What does anyone want me to talk about..? I'll likely never get an answer to that question. Dang it.
I imagine myself with a guy (extremely cute, sweet, and funny of course) all cuddled up and watching movies and eating Chinese food. For reasons I don't understand, Chinese take-out is like the epitome of romance. My loneliness is directly related to my relationship status. I've realized this. I also know that a lot of people think it signifies weakness or something. "Be happy with just yourself!" "Make more friends!" "You don't need a guy!" All of this is true and good advice. I am very happy with myself, honestly. Two jobs, living alone, fantastic taste in books and music and film?? I'm rad. Couldn't love myself more. I have...friends. Okay, I could probably stand to make more friends. I just don't really do that whole "kinda-friends-but-really-acquaintances" thing very well. I like to have my best friends or nothing. As for the "you don't need a guy" claim? Well, it's true that I don't NEED one. But I'd super like one.
I'm just a relationship person. I like having someone to talk to every night. If only to be able to say weird little details of my day. Like I woke up near screaming. Weird nap time dream. And no one who will listen. Boyfriends have to listen to that shit. That's love. Other people... well they don't have to. And feeling like I can't share small details makes me feel more alone than anything.
I really hope I'm not alone in this. I'm imagining someone reading this and just going "this girl is so lame! she should just go talk to people, problem solved!" It's not that easy, hypothetical person getting all critical about my life!
Every paragraph has started with "I." Ugh. I know this is a blog and people say to write about what you know... but do I only know about myself?? No. I am way more interesting than that. But I don't know how to casually segue into "so Palestine these days..." or "so I was jamming the Kinks..." or anything super interesting. Writing a blog is like holding a conversation but you're just assuming the other participant's questions or interests. I don't really know what people are interested in, I guess. What does anyone want me to talk about..? I'll likely never get an answer to that question. Dang it.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
New line, that last one seemed terrible, awkward and potentially worsening.
New line, that last one sucked. So, how's life? What do you do for a living? Or message me. Cause that might weird to post that for everyone to see. Or maybe not.
I'll shutup now.