candycox

existential dilemma
by me

ive been feeling restless lately.
autumn is changing my moods into colored leaves.
the night breathes in and out, exhaling
cigarettes and insecurities,
beat poems and pot smoke,
words tumbling into the cracks in the sidewalks,
like quivering seeds stretching their roots into a paved reality.
my heart assumes the fetal position.
my mind assumes the worst.
i decide to escape from myself, and from the darkness
that plagues my dreams.

i greet the next morning with a weary acceptance
and a quiet resolve.
daylight means bloodshot eyes, cracked lips, and a headache
that splits me open. wasted thoughts spill out.
another shitty hangover. another fake smile.
time to smoke the pipe again. the same mindless drivel.
days seem to come and go, the pages are full yet blank.
shadows creep in unforeseen places, grasping onto the last drips
of the moon.
colored leaves gather in the courtyard, and i wonder
where my minds gone. i dont remember.
the leaves dance in the wind like mini acrobats on parade,
exposed, yet invisible, and its not long
before they blow away.