It's Friday the 13th. dum, dum, dummmm....
No wonder it's already a shitty day. It's officially *cursed*...
I woke up feeling disoriented (always happens after a night of much stoner action) and extra lonely. I keep telling myself that I have so much to be happy about at this time in my life, and that I should just focus on getting my life on track. After all, there's still so much that I want to achieve professionally and personally:
1. Getting into art school (preferably in SF)
2. Kicking art school's ass and graduating with awesome job prospects
3. Become a hottt graphic designer, make a name for myself, and become successful in my field
4. Teach English in Japan (I've been thinking of doing it next year)
5. Travel all around Europe - especially to see ITALY (it's been my dream to go there)... see all the famous art museums!!
6. Make a special trip to Vienna, Austria to see my favorite painting EVER at the Osterreichische Museum - Gustav Klimt's "THE KISS" (isn't it just breathtaking?? and he used real gold on it!!):
7. Drive across country, making stops in cool places (New Orleans!! Miami!!), and then end up in NEW YORK!! I've ALWAYS wanted to go there (mostly to see the museums)
8. Go white-water rafting and sky-diving!! I've gone bungee-jumping once, and now it's on to jumping out of planes...
9. Hold an amazing art show in a gallery one day
10. Get one of my paintings in a famous museum's art exhibit someday (a far-fetched goal, but hey, a girl's gotta dream)
So yeah - I have quite a lot of goals that I'm aiming for... but right now, all I want is someone special to hold me and love me.
Is that so much to ask? I feel so unloveable lately. Guys rejecting me left and right... I'm starting to wonder if something's wrong with me. All my friends are getting snatched up (my best friend is getting married soon for god's sakes, and many more of my close friends are thisclose to tieing the knot as well)... and I just feel, well, left behind as usual. I'm always the one with the stories of steamy one-night stands or kRaZy flings, but never any long, meaningful relationships. I wonder if it's my karma - I know that I've been a bad girl, especially lately... hehe... but gosh, when will my time come? I'm tired of the endless cycle of bad guys and bad luck. ::Sigh:: I feel like love is the one area of my life that I have no real control over, and not having control over things always pisses me off. It makes me feel helpless... and unappreciated... and unwanted... and just damn lonely. If there's anything I really hate, it's loneliness.
I just want someone to understand me and really want to get to know me. I want the passion, the heat, the kRazInESS that is love...
with a heavy heart, CC
P.S. At least today is the SUN GOD festival at UCSD!! SUN GOD = drinking, drinking, and more drinking. Oh, and smoking too of course. Two of my most favorite vices!! Let's hope I don't end up
Hangovers suck. Off to drink my sadness away...
No wonder it's already a shitty day. It's officially *cursed*...
I woke up feeling disoriented (always happens after a night of much stoner action) and extra lonely. I keep telling myself that I have so much to be happy about at this time in my life, and that I should just focus on getting my life on track. After all, there's still so much that I want to achieve professionally and personally:
1. Getting into art school (preferably in SF)
2. Kicking art school's ass and graduating with awesome job prospects
3. Become a hottt graphic designer, make a name for myself, and become successful in my field
4. Teach English in Japan (I've been thinking of doing it next year)
5. Travel all around Europe - especially to see ITALY (it's been my dream to go there)... see all the famous art museums!!
6. Make a special trip to Vienna, Austria to see my favorite painting EVER at the Osterreichische Museum - Gustav Klimt's "THE KISS" (isn't it just breathtaking?? and he used real gold on it!!):
7. Drive across country, making stops in cool places (New Orleans!! Miami!!), and then end up in NEW YORK!! I've ALWAYS wanted to go there (mostly to see the museums)
8. Go white-water rafting and sky-diving!! I've gone bungee-jumping once, and now it's on to jumping out of planes...
9. Hold an amazing art show in a gallery one day
10. Get one of my paintings in a famous museum's art exhibit someday (a far-fetched goal, but hey, a girl's gotta dream)
So yeah - I have quite a lot of goals that I'm aiming for... but right now, all I want is someone special to hold me and love me.
Is that so much to ask? I feel so unloveable lately. Guys rejecting me left and right... I'm starting to wonder if something's wrong with me. All my friends are getting snatched up (my best friend is getting married soon for god's sakes, and many more of my close friends are thisclose to tieing the knot as well)... and I just feel, well, left behind as usual. I'm always the one with the stories of steamy one-night stands or kRaZy flings, but never any long, meaningful relationships. I wonder if it's my karma - I know that I've been a bad girl, especially lately... hehe... but gosh, when will my time come? I'm tired of the endless cycle of bad guys and bad luck. ::Sigh:: I feel like love is the one area of my life that I have no real control over, and not having control over things always pisses me off. It makes me feel helpless... and unappreciated... and unwanted... and just damn lonely. If there's anything I really hate, it's loneliness.
I just want someone to understand me and really want to get to know me. I want the passion, the heat, the kRazInESS that is love...
with a heavy heart, CC
P.S. At least today is the SUN GOD festival at UCSD!! SUN GOD = drinking, drinking, and more drinking. Oh, and smoking too of course. Two of my most favorite vices!! Let's hope I don't end up
Hangovers suck. Off to drink my sadness away...
anyway gorgeous I understand you completely