candide

Why can't I just man the fuck up already? I feel like such a little bitch when I have these feelings. Even worse when she knows about them.

Fuck this. Im just going to shut my mouth from now on. Hide the feelings. Be a goddamned man. But the only way I can continue to remind myself of this is to make another deep cut.

The way I figure it: if I can continually endure that kind of pain I can take on the emotional pain and no one will ever know or be able to tell what I'm feeling.