campbell

I am feeling ultimately crappy.
and am working on getting myself stoned and searching for funny you tube vidoes.
Last night I was kicked out of my own house.
Throughout all of this medical bullshit, (and me quitting smoking cigarettes)
I've been on an emotional rollercoaster, and really not myself.
Regardless, Last night my boyfriend decided to bail on me.
He wants to be alone, and no longer wants to take part in this,
or being there for me. I dont know what to think or do beyond this.
I've been lost this entire time, and am just at a loss for words, thoughts and really emotions.


Those that didnt know:
(I have stage three precervical cancer and severe dysplasia.
I do not have insurance or anyway to pay for this, and have been on the run around for weeks,
in search for a doctor who will help without payment.
Michigan has just started a new law where you must pay before being treated, which is utter bologna.)

However, i am thankful I have a place like sg to vent, and have such great people to help pick me up.
All of your positive thoughts have been so fucking great, and honestly, the only thing keeping my head up.


Feeling like nothing is good, not being able to "love life" and find reasons to smile no matter what is something I miss.I miss myself, and I dont know whats happening.
I Guess I'm just scared, broke and lonely....and my chinese zodiac said this was my year?

My year for what?
bah.

regardless,
apologies for the sap sauce.


Pancakes,
Campbell

Ps: I'm still taking any and all donations, comments and happy thoughts.
<3

Donations Welcome & Very appreciated.