Riding buddy sent this. seems perfectly normal to me...
Triathlete Translations "I am an outdoors type of person." Really
means:
I train in any type of weather. If it's raining, snowing, 90 degrees
w/100 percent humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don't want to
hear any complaints because I will still train in it and you're just a
big wuss for complaining about it.
"I enjoy riding my bike." Really means: with or w/o aero bars, alone or
in a peleton, I don't care. If you can't do a spur of the moment 30
miler then you're not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can't
hang and I drop you - I will see you later. I am a capable mechanic, but
don't expect me to change your flats or tune your bike. You need to
learn that on your own.
"I enjoy jogging." Really means: Let's run hills until we puke. I have
just as many shoes as you only mine are better because they are
functional and all look the same.
"I enjoy dining out." Really means: I enjoy eating out, in or anywhere
else I can find food. Don't be shy because with the amount of food I
eat, you can have that main entree instead of a salad and you will still
look as though you eat like a rabbit in comparison. Don't get your limbs
too close though as I may take a bite out of you. Most importantly don't
expect any taste off my plate unless you can bring something to the
party like more food. Eventually though if your not burning 4,000
calories a day your going to plump up and have a terrible complex due to
watching me eat deserts and not gain any weight. Friends and family will
eventually decide not to dine with us anymore due to my horrid table
manners. Oh, and don't ask me any questions during breakfast, Mid
Morning Lunch, Lunch, Afternoon lunch, Dinner or Recovery Dinner as it
does not lend to efficient food intake.
"I enjoy quiet walks on the beach." Really means: Walks on the beach
warming up into an 8 mile.
run and then plunging myself in the lake for a 2 miler. If you get in
my way you're going to find out what mass start is.
"I find fulfillment in charitable work." Really means: If I am not
racing, I am volunteering and I expect you to be there along side me as
I stand out in 90 degree weather for 8 hours handing out sports drink to
cyclists going 20 mph. Just stick the ol' arm out there and hope it
doesn't get taken off.
"I enjoy sharing quiet moments together." Really means: It's taper
time.
Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am
worried about my "A" race and can't workout.
"I am an active person." Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and
the
8 mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me
during the off-season and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours. 2 of
which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so let's make
the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If
you are a licensed message therapist or doctor this would make the most
optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I
probably already know just as much as you.
"I enjoy road trips and leisurely drives." Really means: You have your
choice of Wisconsin, Idaho, Florida, California, Arizona, and New York,
but don't expect to do much site seeing. If I get enough support from
you we might be able to include Hawaii in there.
"I enjoy site seeing." Really means: Lets grab a mountain bike and get
our HR's up to RPE 19. There's plenty of time to look around on the
descent as trees and bushes whiz by you at 40 mph.
"I like stimulating conversation." Really means: while we are running,
we can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to
wear on this run based on the temperature at start time versus the
temperature at the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape
we are, how many miles we did last
week, and how many we will do this week and next week. Then we can
talk about food.
"I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub." Really Means: I'm going to stop on
the way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some
water, and sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes.
"I'm interested in photography" Really Means: My camera is permanently
perched on a tripod in front of my trainer. I obsess over taking photos of
my bike position and analyzing them to get the perfect setup.
"I'm into technology" Really Means: My HRM and bike computer are my best
friends. Until you can give me some hard data that can improve my
training, don't bother trying to buddy up to me. You could one day break
into the top three if I find you as entertaining on long runs and rides
as my mp3 player.
Triathlete Translations "I am an outdoors type of person." Really
means:
I train in any type of weather. If it's raining, snowing, 90 degrees
w/100 percent humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don't want to
hear any complaints because I will still train in it and you're just a
big wuss for complaining about it.
"I enjoy riding my bike." Really means: with or w/o aero bars, alone or
in a peleton, I don't care. If you can't do a spur of the moment 30
miler then you're not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can't
hang and I drop you - I will see you later. I am a capable mechanic, but
don't expect me to change your flats or tune your bike. You need to
learn that on your own.
"I enjoy jogging." Really means: Let's run hills until we puke. I have
just as many shoes as you only mine are better because they are
functional and all look the same.
"I enjoy dining out." Really means: I enjoy eating out, in or anywhere
else I can find food. Don't be shy because with the amount of food I
eat, you can have that main entree instead of a salad and you will still
look as though you eat like a rabbit in comparison. Don't get your limbs
too close though as I may take a bite out of you. Most importantly don't
expect any taste off my plate unless you can bring something to the
party like more food. Eventually though if your not burning 4,000
calories a day your going to plump up and have a terrible complex due to
watching me eat deserts and not gain any weight. Friends and family will
eventually decide not to dine with us anymore due to my horrid table
manners. Oh, and don't ask me any questions during breakfast, Mid
Morning Lunch, Lunch, Afternoon lunch, Dinner or Recovery Dinner as it
does not lend to efficient food intake.
"I enjoy quiet walks on the beach." Really means: Walks on the beach
warming up into an 8 mile.
run and then plunging myself in the lake for a 2 miler. If you get in
my way you're going to find out what mass start is.
"I find fulfillment in charitable work." Really means: If I am not
racing, I am volunteering and I expect you to be there along side me as
I stand out in 90 degree weather for 8 hours handing out sports drink to
cyclists going 20 mph. Just stick the ol' arm out there and hope it
doesn't get taken off.
"I enjoy sharing quiet moments together." Really means: It's taper
time.
Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am
worried about my "A" race and can't workout.
"I am an active person." Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and
the
8 mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me
during the off-season and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours. 2 of
which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so let's make
the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If
you are a licensed message therapist or doctor this would make the most
optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I
probably already know just as much as you.
"I enjoy road trips and leisurely drives." Really means: You have your
choice of Wisconsin, Idaho, Florida, California, Arizona, and New York,
but don't expect to do much site seeing. If I get enough support from
you we might be able to include Hawaii in there.
"I enjoy site seeing." Really means: Lets grab a mountain bike and get
our HR's up to RPE 19. There's plenty of time to look around on the
descent as trees and bushes whiz by you at 40 mph.
"I like stimulating conversation." Really means: while we are running,
we can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to
wear on this run based on the temperature at start time versus the
temperature at the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape
we are, how many miles we did last
week, and how many we will do this week and next week. Then we can
talk about food.
"I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub." Really Means: I'm going to stop on
the way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some
water, and sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes.
"I'm interested in photography" Really Means: My camera is permanently
perched on a tripod in front of my trainer. I obsess over taking photos of
my bike position and analyzing them to get the perfect setup.
"I'm into technology" Really Means: My HRM and bike computer are my best
friends. Until you can give me some hard data that can improve my
training, don't bother trying to buddy up to me. You could one day break
into the top three if I find you as entertaining on long runs and rides
as my mp3 player.
Exam 1 tomorrow.